Friday, December 23, 2011

the saddest run/walk I have had

Trying to write a blog about to day and say something catchy to begin but I am really tired so I am going to just get to the point of things. 
I woke up did some studying for my nutrition certification, went for the most amazing massage done by Kitten who is truly gifted I know I also got a massage yesterday but yesterday was an impromptu healing massage and today was essential oils wake up warming orange cinnamon back massage that was just spectacular. after that I went to find Bekka a Chanukah present. I think this is the first year I got her just a plane old gift card. I couldn't figure out what to get her. after that I went for a run which is why I am writing this blog. 
I went to lake murray. the entire run is about 10k. 5k to the end and 5 back. I got to the end in 30 minutes wondering why I was having a rather mediocre run. once I got to the end touched the fence and turned around I slowed down to a walking pace and just started bawling. at first I didn't know why. for a few seconds I was laughing in between crying. I felt like I was back in Real Life for Friday cry day. No joke the entire walk back the whole 5k I was crying. I did figure out why during the whole thing. for starters I miss Utah all to much. I miss having friends I can talk to about things, I miss the people I can be myself with and I really really miss actually having a life. I know I gotta go try looking for a life here in SD but honestly every time I try I am always scared I am going to bump into someone I know and have an awkward moment. People don't know me completely here which is my fault but to be honest most people wouldn't want to know. Anyways, after all of the missing Utah blah blah blah was going on in my head the one thing that popped into my head was how I wanted to go back to the Park City art festival. That was an interesting day to say the least. It was a great day with two of my favorite RLF roommates (probably my favorite). That got me crying even more. The reason being is cause it will probably never occur again but hopefully I will be able to head to anaheim when a certain someone comes back and I wouldn't mind going to New Orleans (if you don't understand this then don't even bother trying). I will say that we were some weird twisted family and I miss that so much. Don't get me wrong I love my real family a little more but it felt nice to have people in my life I didn't have to be cryptic with or walk on eggshells around them. Although I am so cryptic about things I am sure people have figured things out by now. People are probably just in denial or something like that. This run/walk of mine lasted about an hour and a half when I came home ate dinner and have been feeling exhausted from it all and then realizing that I need a life away from this house of mine. To repeat myself a little bit I am praying to g-d that when I do get the courage to do so I won't have an awkward moment with bumping into someone I know. It would just be weird. 
Now I am questioning putting this up online for the fear of having a million and one questions and comments from people but the truth is I am to tired and to annoyed with myself from being so bummed to really care about the questions and comments. 
Till Next Time 

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Is it really for yourself?

I have been trying to understand why people are successful in weight loss and why others are not so successful.  For those of you who are trying to lose weight and are working with trainers or instructors or even just a friend probably get the same speech: "Do it for YOU!" You all know that one right?  I have gotten it a million and ten times and honestly every time someone said that to me I wanted to sock some sense into them. NEWS FLASH TO ALL: No one and I repeat no one does anything for themselves. even the selfish do selfish acts for selfless reasons. I am sure everyone has someone on the top of their head who they believe just acts selfishly. Let's take a look at selfish acts. How about a 16 year old Jewish Princess (FYI, I am a proud Jewish Princess, so yes I have the right to stereotype a little bit) who wants a BRAND NEW CAR!!! Here is what we think is going on in there heads: "I want it because I want to have a better car then everyone else." which may be true but think of the 10 million reasons why they want the better car. they want a better car because they want to be able to impress their friends, they want their friends to enjoy the car, They want to be able to not only make themselves look good but the people in that car look good and believe it or not some actually want a better car because it is just a safer car for their friends (that's why I wanted my baby). To get to the point. Why is this important to know when it comes to weight loss? simply said it is the same concept. No one succeed in weight loss when it is about them and no one enters the journey of weight loss for themselves.
I have heard so many stories and not one story started off with I came here for me or I know I am going to succeed for myself. If you do say that your not only lying to those you are talking to but you are lying to yourself (sorry to sound harsh, I want to wake some people up). Let's find out true reasons why people succeed in weight loss and healthy lifestyles. I won't pick out someone else's story but if you do wish to share please do so. I will tell you my story. Why do I, Nicole Recht strive to succeed, why do I want to cook healthy food, why do I want to run a marathon and why do I never ever ever ever ever want to see 268 lbs on the scale ever again? I started wanting it for the Navy (still considering FYI). I wanted it so bad that I went to Real Life Health and Fitness and in my opinion never really left. As I went through the psychotic mental changes, the anger that came from distant memories, the pain of feeling everything an addict feels when coming off an addiction and the temper tantrums (Sorry is in order for those, especially to Seth, if I recall you got the worst one), I realized that I needed to find a reason for it all, I need a purpose to continue on till I go to what I am going to call the endless Disney trip (yes I picture the after life as the greatest Disney resort). I went to Virginia which was great and realized that I would love to be in the NAVY and be a part of something so great. Then I realized that it wouldn't keep me going when I turn some godly old age and I have to retire. I want to be like the older men and women I met at RLFH who succeeded. I want to be like the HHH runners who do it for the love of running with and for others. So I went back to RLFH to figure out how I can do that and with all the support and all the comments ("your such an inspiration") I realized this is it. I am doing it for them. I am doing it for those who need an inspiring story. Have you all watched biggest loser and then find out what has happened to the contestants? most of them didn't maintain. It brings down hope that there will be change that will stick. I realized that with the others in the tiny little percentage that actually change their lives, I have to be a motivator, a sign of hope that people can have it stick. So, I continue on for my family who are hopefully going through the same changes I did (not as fast though), The RLFers that are struggling and for those I meet randomly who want to hear my story (which is usually because a certain mother has to brag).
I am hoping that out of me blabbing you get the picture. This blog is for you. I want to know why do you want to succeed. Let me rephrase that. I want you to know, I want you to find the true reason why you want to succeed. Ask yourself what that is and then that is when you can say "that is what I am doing for myself."  If you are a father/mother doing it for your kids? If you are an old fart who wants to spend a few extra years with their loved ones? If you are doing it to inspire others? All of those reasons are the reasons why losing weight, succeeding in life is successful.

Till Next Time

Sunday, December 11, 2011

A vow to you....

Today was actually spectacular. Although I am stressing because i don't know if I will finish my homework on time it is still a fantastic day. Why is it a fantastic day you ask? I shall tell you... Today is a fantastic day because of two reasons. One is because I let myself hurt a tiny bet for the amazing granola at OPH! If you didn't know it yet I have a love for granola. I didn't start hurting though till after the second reason why it was a great day. Today was a great day because I ran 5 miles in an hour on the beach. I know it may not seem like a lot considering that I ran under a 7 minute mile in the last 5k but keep in mind a few things. 1. I was on the beach which slows anyone down. 2. this was a longer run which eventually my pace slowed down. and 3. I had more drive for the 5k. Running just to run is a lot different than running for a good cause that is important to me.
I am extremely proud of myself because I did what I set out to do which was run for over an hour straight no breaks, no looking at the watch and no mental games bringing me down. Next time it will be more time, FYI.
After the run I had the epiphany that I consistently have after I set and get to a goal of mine. The epiphany being that I can go farther! I can go to the magical goal that will be a completion to a chapter of my life. than I said to myself how can I keep it going this time around and is my goal reachable. I only answered the second half at first, which was DUH!!! Yes, yes it is reachable.  As I thought about the how It led to a big thought. The how consists in everyone in my life that has been there for me throughout this journey of mine.
Now I know some of you are reading this thinking "Nicole, It is all you. you are doing this because you are strong." This is true and i won't argue that I have grown to be strong physically and mentally. The test of my mental strength is like the 1RM bench press test. There is a limit to what I can do, but if I surpass that limit and the bar ends up on my chest I have a spotter than to help bring it back up so the next time I do the test I can improve a little bit. You all are my spotters in life.
This is the perfect transition to the title of this blog. My vow to you, To the people of real life who I have grown to respect and love, to the people of treehouse who have become great friends, to my friends and family, and to those who have just been my support system through this all. I vow the accomplishment of one great goal, a goal that a few of us, real lifers made and have yet to accomplish. I vow that in 2013 I will head to Disneyworld. I will head to Disneyworld not to ride Rock n Roller Coaster, I will not head there to sleep in the dream sweet (although that would be awesome), I will go there to not Run a 1/2 marathon. I will go there to do even better I will go to run the complete marathon. I vow that for the next year I will officially call myself a runner and train my a** off to get there and set small goals that will lead to DISNEYWORLD. I vow to you that I will be healthy, I will be ready and I will be willing to run my first marathon by the 2013 Disneyworld marathon.
I just ask of you this: please forgive me for the days of failures, forgive me for using you as a spotter if you choose not to be one, and if you wanna join let me know I could so use a running partner.
Now to make myself a to do list: 1 make small goals to achieve, find a trainer, don't kill myself on the way there, Remind myself Why I am doing this:I am doing this for my RLFH family, Treehouse friends, and for everyone else in my life and lastly for myself. To proove to myself that the stubbornness that I have gotten from my savta (grandmother) Leah can be used for greatness.
I think that somes up the awesomenss of the day. Now I just need to find a trainer. This will be done after homework.
Till Next Time