Wednesday, November 2, 2011

All this BS and still doing good.

writing this blog on behalf of the Inspirational people in the world.
Today I went on facebook and saw on a friends facebook that Sarah passed away. For those of you who don't recall this I ran a 5k a couple months ago called Sweatin for Sarah. this was a run to find a cure for Sarah who was battling cancer. Unfortunately Sarah passed away. I have been thinking about this all morning. I got to meet her and meeting her I remember saying to myself "other than the missing hair she looks pretty good for a girl who is fighting cancer." No joke that is what I thought. than I look at myself thinking "why can't I look like that fighting some little allergies?" today I put it in my mind that it is because she looked at life and said to herself... Life is Good!! Even battling cancer she had it good. She had great family and friends who created a run just for her, she had people she didn't even know running for her and she has done more for others than anyone can ask for. So although she fought cancer she also was able to spend the day watching people run for her and come to the end of that run on a motorcycle. Sarah you are an inspiration to many!
Second inspirational story of the day. I put up a video of this man with no arms or legs. His moto is "No Arms, No Legs, No Worries." he talks about people asking him why he is always smiling and what he says is amazing.   He truly has no worries in life. He has a great life. He can do what almost everyone can't do and he has a way of looking at life that most people don't even consider.
I think about Sarah I think about the video I watched about this amazingly inspiring man and say to you and myself this: When I complain, When I am in pain, When I want to take a shotgun to my computer because of Blackboard I do have worries at that moment but life is good. I have a great family, great friends, I am now in a city with perfect weather and I just have no complaints about life.
All of this brings me to my next little complaint today which is the Socially F***ED up people who don't have the balls to ask: Hey, Nicole could you be throwing up, or not eating? rather than go up to my parents and make assumptions because I refuse to eat your nasty fattening food that makes me literally sick. Here is why these inspirational people make me think about you- Because I look at them and think there is no way I would allow myself be any less of a person than the inspirational people in the world, there is no way I would allow my meeting with Sarah to be in vain, and there is certainly no way I would let the little worries that have nothing to do with living life bring me down to that level. Which is why today I have had grapes with greek yogurt mixed with protein powder and some spices, homemade oatmeal with turkey bacon and cactus fruit, split pea soup, Salad, Oregano brown rice with chicken, squash seeds with cottage cheese, and there is still more yumminess to come. So no I don't throw up and believe me while in uber sick more there are moments I wish I did, and no I don't starve myself I love food to much and I wouldn't give you the benefit of actually being right.
And now I feel like Ms. Congeniality in that scene when she is doing the Q&A. you all know that scene. She says this amazing speech and everyone is all inspired and adds a last minute comment that you question but in the back of your head you are saying you go girl. however I doubt any of you are really saying you go girl at this point. I am just sick of people giving me that look of is she, is she not, she is? how about just ask. I will be honest with you. Ask anyone who actually knows me, I cannot tell a lie.
Second little B.S. Message of the day... been really wanting to go back to SLC area like a week ago but haven't yet planned on doing so after the 5k in St. George but nope have some testing for allergies to be done. So going to St. George gonna run a 5k Dedicated to the greatest grandfather out there and come back to SD. and no not happy about it and no I still don't see SD as my home yet but I feel better, I feel healthy and I have my family who have been amazing but please stop telling me I should be happy to be back. I am not. I am not happy to be back in a community where people don't have the balls to come to my face and ask me if I have an eating disorder and I am not happy to be without Kol ami and without Treehouse and without everything I gained in Utah. I am greatful to be with my family who are willing to do everything for me including tummy rubs, and including being awaken in the middle of the night on a plane because I am really not feeling well, and including eating my weird breakfast experiments. I am hoping in time this will lead to me figuring out how to be happy back in SD for good cause honestly I feel so healthy right now. Which is why with the small B.S.s in my life right now Life isn't just good, It's great!
Till Next Time

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