Thursday, September 29, 2011


All Righty Today is all about the Jewish New Year. In perspective it isn't really just the Jewish new year but the new year for a few others in the world. It's just The new Year on the Lunar calendar. Every time This New Year comes along I think about that a lot when this day comes. I think about this book I read many years ago. If I recall the name of it is Numbers? I don't remember the name but I remember this chapter like I watched it in a movie. The main Character with her family on a train trying to get out of Germany. A soldier comes up to them and asks.... Why are you traveling? is it for the New Year? a test and they wisely reply no. think about that. for a second... At that time it was a test you are Jewish if you celebrate the New Year during this time of year. Now as a jewish culture not only are we proud of who we are but today we go out to the park as a community and show the world that we are a strong group of people that really love celebrating the New Year. There really isn't much about it that is different from the regular New Year. For one thing it is a time to celebrate with the people you love and most importantly it is a time to look at yourself and say how can I change this year to make you proud. However the small yet important difference is who you are talking to when you think about who you are changing for. For the most part you want to change for yourself but honestly that really you ask yourself January 1st. You say to make myself more proud of myself I need to...... But on Rosh Hashana, the "jewish" New Year you look at g-d where ever you think he is and you say.... " dear Adonai, I am sorry for making my mistakes and now for the new year I would like to be a better person for you. I hope I can do that for you. So think of it this way for the Jews and some others out there in the world you get to New Years resolutions One for yourself and one for G-d or whatever Higher being you believe in or if you don't believe in anything take that time to ask others how you can be a better person in their eyes. I know that sounds ridiculous technically I am trying to tell you to change for others but thats not what I am saying at all. I am saying listen to those in your life and pay attention to your flaws so that when January first comes along you can say ok I know what I need to do to be a better person in my life. friends no more about that then you do. 
Which leads me to my next question I ask Hashem and I ask all my friends reading this what "change" would you like to see in me. And if it's to wear more pink like some have mentioned the answer is absolutely not. 
On another holiday it is really nice to be home with family for the holiday. I do miss Utah and a little jealous that every one is having a fabulous time at their Kol ami picnics but family is what new years is all about. 
So today I had breakfast with Bekka who is basically family, went to services with the family which makes me miss Kol Ami. Honestly rather disappointing services, and I am really sorry if I offend people saying that but really? don't say you are not going to get into politics and then have others give speeches about politics in some hidden way. This isn't the time. I left early cause well gotta love those pains. I am kind of grateful for it at that time. It was the perfect excuse to leave. not saying that I felt any less Jewish leaving. I did my own little thoughtful prayers at home I asked Hashem myself what I need to do to be a better person this year. To be honest I don't like the answer back. And no I am not one of those crazies on the streets of New York screaming to the top of my lungs about G-d thinking we are all Damned. I know what this year for me is going to be about. All I have to say is Adonai Ta'azor li. I hope I have the strength for what's about to come.  It sucks growing up! 
On to tashleich! after my own little prayer time, and some studying I went to Lake Murray before tashleich for a walk/run and then Tashleich. A tradition the night of Rosh Hashana where you through your sins away. No Joke, you take bread crumbs each one is supposed to represent a sin and you just toss them into the lake. hopefully the ducks go for it. Every year for me it's the same thing I toss a bunch of little crumbs for the typical sins (lying, cheating, etc..) and then one massive piece of bread. This piece is supposed to represent the biggest sin of the year. As I got to that piece of bread I thought to myself what would be the biggest sin of this year? This is when I make my choice of what I need to do in the next year. I toss the big chunk of bread into the lake and as a sign this gianormous seagull dives in and grabs it. Why this is a sign?... because no other creature went for any other bread. Usually the ducks wait till after everyone tosses all there bread. but this seagull just went for it. Darn seagull made it official! 
Now I am at home after being bailed on by Bekka (for a good reason).  I am actually enjoying it. everyone is out doing there own thing and I am writing my blog which I haven't done in a while. 
Thinking about tomorrow. I am getting an Ultra sound done, I think I mentioned but I don't recall mentioning it so I am going to repeat myself. Ultrasound done of my lungs because according to St. Marks hospital I may have a nodule on my lungs however I didn't find this out until recently "WTF?" not gonna lie slightly disappointed I am not getting it done in Utah. Only cause I get it done by the same person every single time in Utah. It's kind of nice getting comfortable with a person who gets that close and personal with you. I guess I will have to tell you how it goes when I finish. Really getting to the point in life where I am ready to go back to good ol Utah! I miss my Utah Jews and plus I gotta get my lesson plan done for my class :)!! 
Oh FYI if anyone knows an alergist in Utah I could definitely use one. 
going to bed early after no sleep last night...
Till Next Time 

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