Friday, January 28, 2011

adventerous day!

First went to the BOD POD!! its this cool bod that tests your weight and body %. It told me that I was at 25.2% body fat! This means that I am right there at a normal body fat. I can go lower and plan on it but not much I really just want to tone up and get my RMR up! that was ridiculous. I also got my RMR done. It was at 1253! how ridiculous is that. I basically can't eat more than that many calories if I have a lazy day. Not that I can't eat less than that I can and have done it before but I want to be able to eat more. anywho after that it was just busy. I went to kickboxing, spin and the cool down song in Brenna's zumba. I am gonna miss Brenna. I know I am coming back but there are still a lot of people I will miss for the short period I am gone and people that aren't here anymore that I miss. I went apt. shopping once again but this time around was different. I don't really know what that means yet but we shall see in the near future.
Ok for the adventurous part of my day. I was back at the apt. that I am staying at at the moment doing homework and I get this SOS text. it wasn't really an SOS it was more like a we are screwed text. so I ran to treehouse to find Markie panicking because Ethan (for some reason I am never 100% sure that is his name so if it is not I am sorry) cut the tip of his finger off. So I helped them get out some yummy bison burgers out. I love to say that they were delicious especially since I helped out a little bit.
anywho, that was my adventure. I ran straight home after to do homework and pack. I am not done with either so I will get back to that but I will admit I took a little break by hanging out with Kimber. I shall miss Kimber to! I have missed all week. She isn't at real life no more so I have to wait a little bit each time I see her which makes me a little sad. Tonight was fun though. So after this last break by blogging I will be up doing homework.

Till Next Time

Saturday, January 22, 2011


SO I had a fantastic day today!!! I woke up late and went to the gym to nervously await weigh ins. lets be honest no matter how much you lose each week or how hard you work it is the scale that everyone fears the most here at RLFH. I walked into the room with the scale and Don waiting for me to come in. I waited for the computer to say 0.0 so I can step onto the scale, stepped onto the scale and watched the number till it stopped in it's tracks at 136.7! I lost 2.1 lbs since monday. Thats not even the awesome news. The awesome thing about losing 2.1 lbs this week is that in total since May 16h I have lost 102 lbs!!!! who would have thunk that the person who didn't want to lose weight in the first place and didn't really care would get to 102 lbs less and in school for health fitness.
Here is a little secret for you all. for those of you who are thinking it's because you changed your whole mindset. that is not the case at all. I will never change! I still love everything I did before I still love video games, I still love T.V. and I am still Nicole. I still only care about one thing in life and well considering everything going on in life I am going to have to find something new to care about. So why have I been successful in losing so much? Its really simple, I told myself every time I looked in the mirror and saw a completely different person it was still me! I was still going to go spend time with the people I love I was still going to hate and like what I always have and I will always be that person that hates not living for others. This weight loss just lets me be more successful in all of that stuff! I am oh so stocked!
To continue my day I basically just did homework. I am really not liking medical terminology. teacher is asking for way to much in way to little time and to top it off I still have three other classes. tonight possibly going to the movies and then doing more homework. FYI I might have found a good apt.
FYI I have been addicted to Here Comes Goodbye by Rascal Flatts. I listened to it 13 times already. every time I cry a little.

Till Next Time

Thursday, January 20, 2011

the days are getting better.

Today was better. I don't know if I should say it was great but with everything on my mind and how much I laughed today, it was a great day. Unlike yesterday's intervals I was actually able to finish. I missed the first interval but that was cause Zumba with Brenna today was way to much fun! FYI I don't know if I have said this already but Brenna is an amazing friend to have. I also had a great morning workout of running, and bootcamp. I do hope Lisa is doing good. After what I learned today I have to say she is officially my hero of the week. Its great to meet such a strong fighter. This is the one thing that I love about being here, you get to meet inspirational people. Lisa is definitely one of those.
I didn't just learn a lot about people today or have a great workout. I also had a great time with Shanna and Kimber, FYI I do have to say oh so proud of myself for lunch today. I also went to group therapy on emotional eating. lets be honest I needed it. I have had a tough week and food is my addiction so just talking about emotional eating calmed me down. to top it off we did hypnotherapy which was amazing. My happy place (btw a lot of people call it that because we need to call it something) isn't even a place. It is a moment in time where everything was just perfect with the only person that really matters in life at the moment. Actually what really topped it off was Shanna mentioning what hypnotherapy she's got online only because it made for a good five minutes of laughter.
I have also been doing a whole lot of homework today. It is kind of making things a little harder balancing RLFH and school but since I am almost done with what I have due today I think I passed my first test.
Things I need to do though... text Jen I forgot to answer her back. Oh and I got to let you know that I am gonna attempt life without redline. Only cause mama Jen gave me the redline speech, so I had to research it and find out stuff I kind of already knew I just need something to keep me awake during the day. I also need to call the parentals cause they have been calling and I really haven't been wanting to talk to them. It's not their fault I just didn't want the questions about yesterdays status. sorry!
Right now I am about to finish up my homework go to bed and hopefull stay asleep till 3:30.

Till Next Time

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

laughter through all the pain.

Today was a roller coaster ride for sure. I woke up after almost no sleep just not wanting to wake up at all. of course looking back at my record of only one day of not going to the gym first thing I had get myself up and running so I did. Honestly I looked and felt like crap today. It wasn't pretty. When I saw Kimber this morning and she thought I smoked something I figured it was time for redline. I got to 9.0 for the second time in intervals today. hopefully I can do it again tomorrow.
When it comes to all the B.S. at home that shouldn't be happening well lets just say I will be having my phone attached to me at all times till I actually here good news. I have hope for good news so maybe tomorrow I will get it. At least I know somewhat of whats going on and I don't have to be questioning it. I just wish that there was a better option.
There was some good today. I laughed in bootcamp today thanks to Adam. I can't believe you had to ask who I was talking about in last nights blog and no it wasn't Ann, she doesn't annoy me that much :P.
I also got distracted from my thoughts by an arcade day at boondocks which was oh so much fun. Brad and I beat this one shooting game thanks to the unlimited thing they got going on on Tuesdays.
When we got back for dinner Marky was working!!! I haven't seen her since I left and well it was great. The scream was so worth it. can't wait to sneak into the kitchen every now and then to get some marky time. and plus we gotta do sushi sometime soon.
To top off the day. I laughed way to hard in Kimber's office. First I got stories about past clients that were interesting. then I was just laughing at the fact that of course Kimber with her crazy imagination had to have a beautiful image of well... I would tell you but even just thinking about it makes me cringe a little. which of course now the hour of sleep I will be getting tonight will be filled with nightmares of that image thank you oh so very much Kimber. FYI Kimber and Shanna are awesome! but I have to be a little disappointing to them because I kind of didn't take your advice. sorry! I just can't. words don't come out of me that easily. I wish I could say it on my blog but last time I did something like that it pissed of my mom way to much so I think I will restrain from doing that.
Now I am doing homework cause in less than a day I went from being ahead to being behind.

Till Next Time

Monday, January 17, 2011

My Utahns are awesome!

Um I can't really explain today. I wish I could but well.... life just well lost it's appeal today. me and the big guy, Hashem we aren't exactly on talking terms right now. Yet for some reason I had me Tehilim in my hands for hours today.
I actually am really glad I am in Utah right now because without the people here I couldn't go through today. So I guess I can dedicate this blog to them
I first got to start with Shanna who got me to laugh today. Today in our personal therapy session we came to the conclusion that I have an addiction. I DO GUM!!! :)
Then there is Jen who really isn't here but it was so great to call her up and here screaming boys in the background. just saying! It really isn't the same without Jen here.
Stephani who got me to do zumba tonight. thank you! much needed! I missed doing zumba with you on monday nights.
and lastly Cleo who is such an inspiration. It's good to have the queen back! It is also great to see the improvement from where cleo was 6 months ago to now.
Of course most everyone else here are amazing! there is always that one person who needs to be shoved down a drain but that's ok everyone else is amazing so I am having a great time in Utah, I just wish I didn't have to worry about whats going on other places in life.

Till Next Time

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Back In good ol' Utah!!

Today I flew! I was mostly on a plane which was nice. it gave me the time to get ahead in school work which really isn't saying a lot because I still have way to much of it.
To be honest this is such a bitter sweet moment. I love being back! I love the fact that I am in Utah. I truly do feel at home here. I love the fact that Chleo and Suzanne live right below. for those of you who want to know who the truly inspirational are it's those two women downstairs. I spent some time with them talking about memories and all the changes. I can't stop smiling when I think about them.
The issue of the day is that I can't stop thinking about tomorrow. I am not talking about bootcamp I actually am really excited about that. I just have a lot on my mind that unfortunately I can't share with all of you. It's not my business to share so I am really sorry. It is however effecting everything that I do in the next few months. So for the past week I have been praying to hashem! asking him for two things. 1. stop F***ing with my emotions. I can do happy or sad but I can't do them both at the same time it is just way to confusing. 2. please please please please please let the outcome be one that I will actually be happy about.
Anywho now that I have gotten way to personal with everyone who has read my blog I have to get off and start doing homework because hashem knows I have to much of it. Tomorrow will be my first official day back at RLFH so I have to make sure I enjoy the changes. I already know that there are a couple changes that I just refuse to like. Still am trying to figure out how I am going to survive without Jen here. especially with everything going on. I hope it works out.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Why its tough to do dinner with the family

Well my day was productive. I did my homework, worked out and baught kingdom hearts: recoded which I can't wait to play.
I also talked to steff and kimber thats right two Utahns in one day!
Right now I am at dinner at my grandmas which is nice. Here is the hard part about it: before I come here I eat dinner because I still want to count calories and honestly now a lot of the stuff just looks unappatizing. What makes ot hard is that everyone acts like its a sin for me not to eat. I still don't have the urge to eat but it hurts that it is almost like I have to isolate myself so they don't nag me about. Ususlly they are supportive but tonight for some reason it was different. Apparently it hurts others when I don't eat. Oy!!
Anywho 3 more days till utah!!! Where I still have know idea how I am gonna survive with school and I have to find an apt. For feb... Oh fyi the plan is to move in feb.

Till next time
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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Today was filled with school work as usual. Like always I have gotten a great break. I went to lunch with the family. It was a great lunch! While at lunch I was texting Jen! I miss mama Jen! Not having her at real life is going to be weird, bit hearing about all the good in her life makes it worth it.
The conversation did emphasize the fact that I have no idea how I am going to be able to do school work and rlfh at the same time. Hopefully I can type and tread at the same time. I really cant wait though. I am going to be in utah in snow in the program that changed my life for the better.
I have been doing homework since 5:30 this morning other than lunch so for my second break I am going to watch the Disney show at uncle Larry's for the second time. I can watch it over and over again. After this back to school.

Till next time

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

School, redline, and meals with the family.

Alright so I woke up and startrd training for a 5k run which I can do in about 45 minutes. Thats not the best in the world but its a great improvement for me. I am hoping to get to 30 minutes.
After a great,morning workout I studied all day. I have to much school for someone who is taking online classes but its great. I took a break by doing two things. First was finally giving in and getting a redline. Which is my new lifeline. I have been crashing and have been having difficulties staying awake all day so I baught a few redlines to test out. I started with a princess redline which is still working after drinking it at11:00 today and I haven't finished the whole bottle. It made me jittery for a short period of time but for the rest of the day I just felt like myself again which was great
My second break was lunch with cousin lynda at miguad! My mexican restaurant. Carne asade with corn tortilla! I say I did pretty good. When I first walked in the girl that was working there took time to recognize who I was but she recognized me! She was shocked. And yes I am known miguad. I have been eating there for years its my mexican whole in the wall that I love way to much and noe that I can go there and not binge eat I feel great! I went to lunch with lynda to talk about my exoerience and what I learned which was great I love helping others by talking about my experience it just reminds that what I did was right!
After lunch I did homework all day. And now I am on my third break at my grandma's for dinner. I had an early dinner so I am enjoying the food from a distance which honestly doesnt bother me that much.
Only here for a little bit then off to do more studying which is why I didnt drink the entire redline I still got a lot to do and I got to save it just in case. I love spending time with my grams. Polish jokes and politics with a whole lot of family love!
5 more days till Utah!!!!
Till next time
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Sunday, January 9, 2011

The unveiling

Today was a little tough. It was my grandpas unveiling. For those of you who don't know what that is, its a jewish ritual after someone passes to unveil the tombstone usually after a year after they have passed. So today I went to my grandpas unveiling.
Honestly it was great to have everyone in my family give me that shock look and ask me a million questions. It kept my mind off of things a bit.
First thing I was thinking was that it would have been awesome if my grandpa could see me now. He is probably chilling somewhere surrounded by people he loves saying thats my granddaughter! Either that or he is in his lounge chair with a book in his lap with that I am going to try to look mad but there is a glimpse of pride look he used to have.
The tombstone was amazing it had my grandfather's famous quote on the back "thank you for coming to my party" hehe my grandpa would say that every where even if it was just dinner out with the family. He would have loved it.
After the unveiling we went to my grandmas house for food. Let me tell you for the first time in a long time I wanted everything that was there especially lucy's famous brownies. Those are the best brownies ever and I wanted it so badly. I think you would be proud of me when I say I didn't eat the brownie or anything there. I stepped back realized that the only reason why I wanted it is because food is my escape from emotion. I was starting to get a little bummed out. So I waited till three which is snack time, ran to the car grabbed my emergency snack, took a breather and walked back into the house with a yummy healthy snack and a smile.
Why a smile on my way back in? Its because of utah. Before starting to cry the thing that popped into my head was it would be awesome if I could sneak into Shanna's office, cuddle up in that comfy chair and just cry. That brought me to the realization that in a week I am going to be back in utah! I'm sure grandpa would make some remark about all the mormons in utah, but I love my mormon utahns and I miss them. Now I only have a week till I get to see them!

Till next time
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Thursday, January 6, 2011

Stupid questions

so today was a little stressful. not in the sense of busy but in the I am having a tough time with one little thing at school. let me explain...

Online courses are really actually fun. you go online write a paper or a discussion the end. it is also harder than it seems because you have to learn all the material on your own. so before you actually answer questions on the discussion board, write a paper or take a quiz you have to read chapters of material you kind of understand but you really don't understand it. Now the time everything is due is important. Class discussions are due on thursday and everything else is due Sunday. So today all my discussions were due. I easily got all of them done except for one. This discussion in my Medical Terminology class. this question really made no sense to me. and to top it off it had nothing to do with what we were learning. it was a question on nouns, adjectives/adverbs, and verbs when this week we learned about prefix, suffix and root words. I don't know if you know this but there is a small difference. surprisingly it really is a small difference but that difference is important.
All day today I was staring at this ridiculous question trying to answer it. unfortunately I am taking online classes and can't ask my teacher in class or in the office for help. I just write an e-mail and hope they answer. guess what??? She didn't answer me. So today as I was staring I tried to keep myself busy by cooking and running errands for bekka and hanging out at starbucks for a little bit. Fyi there are some seriously attractive people working in that little strip mall just saying :). it was a good break. about 5 minutes ago I finally decided that I need to do something with this question so I just halffast the answer on the discussion board added a bunch of bs so it would be more than 100 words and hopefully I don't look to much like an idiot.
Now I am going to workout to blow of some steam and then sleep.
good night to all!

Till Next Time

Monday, January 3, 2011

crazy busy day!

Today was way to busy/productive in an odd way.
I woke up worked out for a bit and right away went online to start my first day of online schooling. it actually took me a lot longer than I expected. I spent a couple hours reading all the stuff I needed to. After that I dropped Adam off so I can run some errands. I also was helping out Bekka with a bunch of stuff today which was actually kind of fun as exhausting as it was. I bought the books I need again so I should be getting them in a few days. I also bought a new laptop from Costco. It's an HP which I love but honestly I am a MAC at heart. the only reason why I got this PC is cause I need it for school. To top off the perfectly busy day was a lovely phone call to Christy. It made all of this worth it. Why? well I have officially made a date for returning to Real Life. January 16th is the day! I am so excited! I know a lot has changed and I am sure it's for the better but to be honest life without Jen in San Diego is hard enough, I have no idea how I am going to survive without her at Real Life. Luckily there is still Kimber and Shanna! I know it will be a great two weeks. I am never really disappointed in Real Life.
what made this busy day survivable was the fact that a bunch of people in Utah texted me today. it put a big smile on my face knowing that it's not just me missing Utah.
Still busy today. I have to get plane tickets for Utah, do some Homework, and go for another hour of working out. After sleeping for just four hours and being busy all day that is actually a lot at 7:45. maybe if I get more sleep tonight I will feel ready for another busy day.

Till Next Time

Sunday, January 2, 2011

missing in action

Today was a mixed day. Overall it was great. I have been hanging out with Bekka all day, running errands. honestly what beats hanging out with my best friend while being productive in a day.
The flaw in today was realizing that I have to snap back into reality but there are a few set backs. First you should know that I am starting school tomorrow. the issue is that I haven't gotten my books sent to me yet. I bought them and everything a couple weeks ago and I got nothing yet. so now I have to figure out whats going on within the next week or I am screwed homework wise. that is One really big flaw in my day. The second flaw is that I am missing just about everything that I need in life. I am missing the receipt for the books that I bought which is odd because I could have swarn I put it away in a specific spot and its not there. I am also missing my wallet. Luckily I have to wallets and the one missing has only money and not cards but its still a good amount of money thats missing. I am sure its in the house because I don't remember leaving with it but I don't know where in the house it is. third thing missing was the book Ranger's Apprentice which Bekka's dad found thank goodness. I owe him for that one.
Lately I have been loosing just about everything and its starting to get on my nerves. I know it always happens with me but usually its not important stuff but now it is getting to ruin my day.
On a fantastic note after gaining two pounds last week and a trip to mammoth I lost a whole lot of weight this week. To be exact I have lost 9 lbs this week. I kid you not. I was 149.2 last week and now I am at 140.2! not only am I back on track weightloss wise but I only have 5.2 lbs to go till my goal. I am so stocked for that to occur and hopefully it will happen before I get back to Utah so I can come into Real Life and get that look from all the newbies. I think most of you know which one. The one of WTF is she doing here. I would love that!
At the moment I am watching Saving Private Ryan so I am going to have to piece out.

Till Next Time