Friday, December 23, 2011

the saddest run/walk I have had

Trying to write a blog about to day and say something catchy to begin but I am really tired so I am going to just get to the point of things. 
I woke up did some studying for my nutrition certification, went for the most amazing massage done by Kitten who is truly gifted I know I also got a massage yesterday but yesterday was an impromptu healing massage and today was essential oils wake up warming orange cinnamon back massage that was just spectacular. after that I went to find Bekka a Chanukah present. I think this is the first year I got her just a plane old gift card. I couldn't figure out what to get her. after that I went for a run which is why I am writing this blog. 
I went to lake murray. the entire run is about 10k. 5k to the end and 5 back. I got to the end in 30 minutes wondering why I was having a rather mediocre run. once I got to the end touched the fence and turned around I slowed down to a walking pace and just started bawling. at first I didn't know why. for a few seconds I was laughing in between crying. I felt like I was back in Real Life for Friday cry day. No joke the entire walk back the whole 5k I was crying. I did figure out why during the whole thing. for starters I miss Utah all to much. I miss having friends I can talk to about things, I miss the people I can be myself with and I really really miss actually having a life. I know I gotta go try looking for a life here in SD but honestly every time I try I am always scared I am going to bump into someone I know and have an awkward moment. People don't know me completely here which is my fault but to be honest most people wouldn't want to know. Anyways, after all of the missing Utah blah blah blah was going on in my head the one thing that popped into my head was how I wanted to go back to the Park City art festival. That was an interesting day to say the least. It was a great day with two of my favorite RLF roommates (probably my favorite). That got me crying even more. The reason being is cause it will probably never occur again but hopefully I will be able to head to anaheim when a certain someone comes back and I wouldn't mind going to New Orleans (if you don't understand this then don't even bother trying). I will say that we were some weird twisted family and I miss that so much. Don't get me wrong I love my real family a little more but it felt nice to have people in my life I didn't have to be cryptic with or walk on eggshells around them. Although I am so cryptic about things I am sure people have figured things out by now. People are probably just in denial or something like that. This run/walk of mine lasted about an hour and a half when I came home ate dinner and have been feeling exhausted from it all and then realizing that I need a life away from this house of mine. To repeat myself a little bit I am praying to g-d that when I do get the courage to do so I won't have an awkward moment with bumping into someone I know. It would just be weird. 
Now I am questioning putting this up online for the fear of having a million and one questions and comments from people but the truth is I am to tired and to annoyed with myself from being so bummed to really care about the questions and comments. 
Till Next Time 
Nicoly! 

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Is it really for yourself?

I have been trying to understand why people are successful in weight loss and why others are not so successful.  For those of you who are trying to lose weight and are working with trainers or instructors or even just a friend probably get the same speech: "Do it for YOU!" You all know that one right?  I have gotten it a million and ten times and honestly every time someone said that to me I wanted to sock some sense into them. NEWS FLASH TO ALL: No one and I repeat no one does anything for themselves. even the selfish do selfish acts for selfless reasons. I am sure everyone has someone on the top of their head who they believe just acts selfishly. Let's take a look at selfish acts. How about a 16 year old Jewish Princess (FYI, I am a proud Jewish Princess, so yes I have the right to stereotype a little bit) who wants a BRAND NEW CAR!!! Here is what we think is going on in there heads: "I want it because I want to have a better car then everyone else." which may be true but think of the 10 million reasons why they want the better car. they want a better car because they want to be able to impress their friends, they want their friends to enjoy the car, They want to be able to not only make themselves look good but the people in that car look good and believe it or not some actually want a better car because it is just a safer car for their friends (that's why I wanted my baby). To get to the point. Why is this important to know when it comes to weight loss? simply said it is the same concept. No one succeed in weight loss when it is about them and no one enters the journey of weight loss for themselves.
I have heard so many stories and not one story started off with I came here for me or I know I am going to succeed for myself. If you do say that your not only lying to those you are talking to but you are lying to yourself (sorry to sound harsh, I want to wake some people up). Let's find out true reasons why people succeed in weight loss and healthy lifestyles. I won't pick out someone else's story but if you do wish to share please do so. I will tell you my story. Why do I, Nicole Recht strive to succeed, why do I want to cook healthy food, why do I want to run a marathon and why do I never ever ever ever ever want to see 268 lbs on the scale ever again? I started wanting it for the Navy (still considering FYI). I wanted it so bad that I went to Real Life Health and Fitness and in my opinion never really left. As I went through the psychotic mental changes, the anger that came from distant memories, the pain of feeling everything an addict feels when coming off an addiction and the temper tantrums (Sorry is in order for those, especially to Seth, if I recall you got the worst one), I realized that I needed to find a reason for it all, I need a purpose to continue on till I go to what I am going to call the endless Disney trip (yes I picture the after life as the greatest Disney resort). I went to Virginia which was great and realized that I would love to be in the NAVY and be a part of something so great. Then I realized that it wouldn't keep me going when I turn some godly old age and I have to retire. I want to be like the older men and women I met at RLFH who succeeded. I want to be like the HHH runners who do it for the love of running with and for others. So I went back to RLFH to figure out how I can do that and with all the support and all the comments ("your such an inspiration") I realized this is it. I am doing it for them. I am doing it for those who need an inspiring story. Have you all watched biggest loser and then find out what has happened to the contestants? most of them didn't maintain. It brings down hope that there will be change that will stick. I realized that with the others in the tiny little percentage that actually change their lives, I have to be a motivator, a sign of hope that people can have it stick. So, I continue on for my family who are hopefully going through the same changes I did (not as fast though), The RLFers that are struggling and for those I meet randomly who want to hear my story (which is usually because a certain mother has to brag).
I am hoping that out of me blabbing you get the picture. This blog is for you. I want to know why do you want to succeed. Let me rephrase that. I want you to know, I want you to find the true reason why you want to succeed. Ask yourself what that is and then that is when you can say "that is what I am doing for myself."  If you are a father/mother doing it for your kids? If you are an old fart who wants to spend a few extra years with their loved ones? If you are doing it to inspire others? All of those reasons are the reasons why losing weight, succeeding in life is successful.

Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

A vow to you....

Today was actually spectacular. Although I am stressing because i don't know if I will finish my homework on time it is still a fantastic day. Why is it a fantastic day you ask? I shall tell you... Today is a fantastic day because of two reasons. One is because I let myself hurt a tiny bet for the amazing granola at OPH! If you didn't know it yet I have a love for granola. I didn't start hurting though till after the second reason why it was a great day. Today was a great day because I ran 5 miles in an hour on the beach. I know it may not seem like a lot considering that I ran under a 7 minute mile in the last 5k but keep in mind a few things. 1. I was on the beach which slows anyone down. 2. this was a longer run which eventually my pace slowed down. and 3. I had more drive for the 5k. Running just to run is a lot different than running for a good cause that is important to me.
I am extremely proud of myself because I did what I set out to do which was run for over an hour straight no breaks, no looking at the watch and no mental games bringing me down. Next time it will be more time, FYI.
After the run I had the epiphany that I consistently have after I set and get to a goal of mine. The epiphany being that I can go farther! I can go to the magical goal that will be a completion to a chapter of my life. than I said to myself how can I keep it going this time around and is my goal reachable. I only answered the second half at first, which was DUH!!! Yes, yes it is reachable.  As I thought about the how It led to a big thought. The how consists in everyone in my life that has been there for me throughout this journey of mine.
Now I know some of you are reading this thinking "Nicole, It is all you. you are doing this because you are strong." This is true and i won't argue that I have grown to be strong physically and mentally. The test of my mental strength is like the 1RM bench press test. There is a limit to what I can do, but if I surpass that limit and the bar ends up on my chest I have a spotter than to help bring it back up so the next time I do the test I can improve a little bit. You all are my spotters in life.
This is the perfect transition to the title of this blog. My vow to you, To the people of real life who I have grown to respect and love, to the people of treehouse who have become great friends, to my friends and family, and to those who have just been my support system through this all. I vow the accomplishment of one great goal, a goal that a few of us, real lifers made and have yet to accomplish. I vow that in 2013 I will head to Disneyworld. I will head to Disneyworld not to ride Rock n Roller Coaster, I will not head there to sleep in the dream sweet (although that would be awesome), I will go there to not Run a 1/2 marathon. I will go there to do even better I will go to run the complete marathon. I vow that for the next year I will officially call myself a runner and train my a** off to get there and set small goals that will lead to DISNEYWORLD. I vow to you that I will be healthy, I will be ready and I will be willing to run my first marathon by the 2013 Disneyworld marathon.
I just ask of you this: please forgive me for the days of failures, forgive me for using you as a spotter if you choose not to be one, and if you wanna join let me know I could so use a running partner.
Now to make myself a to do list: 1 make small goals to achieve, find a trainer, don't kill myself on the way there, Remind myself Why I am doing this:I am doing this for my RLFH family, Treehouse friends, and for everyone else in my life and lastly for myself. To proove to myself that the stubbornness that I have gotten from my savta (grandmother) Leah can be used for greatness.
I think that somes up the awesomenss of the day. Now I just need to find a trainer. This will be done after homework.
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thanksgiving 2011

It's been a little rough this year but as my father and his father before him believe, there is always something to be thankful for. I have a great life with a great family and some pretty great friends all over the world. So as I celebrate thanksgiving the day before I go to Utah before I pack up my things I remember what I am thankful for. I am thankful for my family; for my little brother who with even a busy schedule and a bunch of friends still enjoys a night out with his lame big sister to See a great movie; For my older brother who has taught me more than he knows just by acting like a great older brother; and for my parents who have been there through everything even when I am slightly annoyed at life and taking it out on them; for my grandmother wanting to try to make me dinner (sorry grandma but already am bringing deliciousness to dinner tonight); and for the long list of fantastic cousins. If you don't know this I probably have the biggest family out there. each and every one of my cousins are special to me and for that I am thankful.
I am also thankful for my amazing friends that I have all over America and the world. Who can say that they have friends in South America, Israel, Europe, Canada and so forth. To be honest a couple years ago I couldn't even say I had many friends in San Diego. I can say that I am thankful for the small group of friends I do have here in SD and the immense amount of friends everywhere.
I am thankful for the new internship I have, where it hasn't even been that long and I am already learning way to much.  I am thankful for this amazing SD weather and the amazing snow I will hopefully see when I go back home to Utah. I am thankful for Kol Ami, a place I truly put my heart and soul in and I don't even think that came close to repaying them for all they have done for me.
I am thankful for the doctor and the real awesome nurse who has informed me that I will be eating plan boring foods for the rest of my life.
Most importantly I am thankful for my growth. Now this is where the question marks pop up into your head and some of you might even be thinking "really, that's a little selfish." that's what I am thinking but just here me out. I have been able to say a few things in my life I couldn't have a couple years ago. I would not have been able to tell you that my goal is to run the Disney Marathon, I could not have been able to make the decision to get an internship, and I would have never ever ever been able to say I bet I can make a mean breakfast for my family. I would be to lazy (of course I cook cause sleeping through the morning will never happen).
There is this one memory that has popped into my head; years ago Bucky was trying to get me to walk up Cowles Mountain. To be honest I hated it. Try having a friend try to get you to work out because your mother is a nag. (sorry ICNIC but you were one annoying mother at that age). I never made it up there. In fact I didn't make it up to cowles mountain till I think I was 17. Think about that 1.5 miles of a small hike up a little hill and I refused to walk up it. Now I can tell you that I can get up to the top and down in under an hour and enjoy doing it.
Last reason for my thankful growth is simply that ask me a couple years ago to pinpoint the positives in my life while just exhausted from pain I would have laughed. but seriously look back at the blog i have just written, go back to when I mentioned pain all those times in my blog and on facebook; I sound like one sick depressed person, and although I am a little bummed that I have to leave Utah and want to strangle anyone who says welcome back home I will say that I am still the happiest person out there and have the greatest life. That is why I am thankful for my growth.
To top it off I am thankful that my mother made e a small deal that includes her going to Disneyland with me :) DLAND TRIP after Utah!!!
So I ask of you all to be thankful for everything great in your life. and post your number one Thanks because I am a curious person.
FYI today is going to be great. Preparing for tonight, working, going for a walk, and spending my thanksgiving with family. I doubt this will top thanksgiving day shawarma in Israel but it will be up there.
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Missing Utah

Ok after a great day today with a fabulous run on the beach I have come to the conclusion that I am missing Utah right now. No joke the entire day I have been wanting to text friends in Utah for a movie night at the megaplex but I can't :(. I know I shouldn't be complaining about life right now. I have the best family ever. They are taking care of me and spoiling me like crazy and I have a great new internship that will open doors for me.
Have you ever had everything and wish you can share it with a person that you just couldn't talk to at that moment. I feel like that just with everyone in Utah. I am healthier than I have been in a long time, I am more successful in life than I have been in a long time and when I wake up in pain I have parents who are right there to grab me the most comfortable blanket and to just let me into their bed like a 5 year old kid who just had a nightmare. The perfect life but when people ask me "doesn't it feel great to be back home." First thing in my head is home is in Utah. I know that it might be because I still have all my stuff in Utah and because Tyler keeps on teasing me about eating a nut burger at Sage's Cafe and because I really want to go to Cahoots to get Chanukah gifts for people. I guess I just have to be used to SD being home as it has been for most of my life.
Another big thought that has just been pissing me off is that it just brings me back to Israel. I know that the decision isn't the one I want to make. I know that I am meant to go back to both Israel and Utah. The difference between Israel and Utah is that in Israel I had to choose between mental health and mental health. what would suck more. to be honest the first 1/2 year back in the states just sucked and I really thought of moving back as a mistake but if I didn't come back I wouldn't have gone to Utah. So then I get to Utah which leaving as you may know was more physical vs. mental health. The physical won for the moment. back in SD with this great life I just can't celebrate with the people I want to share it with.
I could also be thinking this because I am tired as can be from this crazy busy week and because I have been thinking about the fact that Adam will be going to Alexander Muss next year and all I have been thinking about is how cool and scary and weird it would be if I went to go visit him which lead me to thinking about how similar the situations are. Not wanting to leave Israel and not wanting to leave Utah. If you all haven't noticed me not going to bed early enough leads to me thinking and me thinking is just not cool. A good night sleep will get rid of all of this.
Don't think I am some depressed emo chick who doesn't appreciate what I have in life because I am loving life I just really really really miss Utah.
going to sleep now to wake up to another great busy day
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

pumpkin peanut cookies to a rough day to meeting Miri.

ok last night I made some bomb cookies it consists of 3 cups of rolled oats, 10 Tbls of PB2 and 1 cup of pumpkin puree with stevia to taste. bake at 350 for approximatelly twenty minutes and YUMMNESS!!!
To today... it was rough, terrible, exhausting and really one of those days where I was just upset at myself. first I had an attack to the extent of stealing sleep from the parentals. SORRY!!! I woke them up around four. As I was reading Tami's status today lets just say I laughed a little because I felt the same way when I woke up my parents kicked out my mom out of her side woke up my dad got him to skooch a little so I can snuggle in between them :). I guess there are perks to being home but I do feel bad. about 30 minutes later I ended getting my parents to wrap me up in the most comfortable blanket we have, and tuck me into Danny's bed because my room was to cold for me. fun thing to do at four in the morning. One great thing to add is my mother asked if I turned up the heat this morning when I didn't I am assuming a certain father did so to keep me warm :). I am telling everyone I have the two greatest parents out there. No matter what they will do what they can to help me even if I ask them not to.
After a day of being to exhausted to have a fun time at costco and 99 cents store. I am feeling better but still so tired!It's one of those days when I look in the mirror and I smile at how awesome all of this change I have gone through has been but is it truly worth me waking up my parents, the chest pains, being so spaced out that I hit a family friends car, or just to exhausted to even be satisfied with the fact that even though I am so tired and feeling so bummed I still ended up doing some form of a workout. it wasn't a bootcamp style workout like intended it was more like try to do as many push ups as you can before closing your eyes in sleep but it still did the job for the day.
typing all of that I know it is worth it but I just don't like these days where I screw up all because I am too exhausted to do anything right during the day.
Things will get better... to brag a little I get to have dinner with Miri Mesika!! :) I know most of you don't know who she is but she is a huge singing star in Israel and I am oh so stoked! The dinner will be filled with a bunch of people my mother doesn't even know that well but I feel like it will be worth it. at least I hope it will be.
FYI 4 more days till the Alzheimer's walk/run. Please donate at alz.org. not going up to SLC area yet which is an epic bummer but hopefully that will occur after I get tests done.

gotta go get ready for MIRI MESIKA!!! only an hour and half left. :)
Till Next Time
Nicoly!  

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

All this BS and still doing good.

writing this blog on behalf of the Inspirational people in the world.
Today I went on facebook and saw on a friends facebook that Sarah passed away. For those of you who don't recall this I ran a 5k a couple months ago called Sweatin for Sarah. this was a run to find a cure for Sarah who was battling cancer. Unfortunately Sarah passed away. I have been thinking about this all morning. I got to meet her and meeting her I remember saying to myself "other than the missing hair she looks pretty good for a girl who is fighting cancer." No joke that is what I thought. than I look at myself thinking "why can't I look like that fighting some little allergies?" today I put it in my mind that it is because she looked at life and said to herself... Life is Good!! Even battling cancer she had it good. She had great family and friends who created a run just for her, she had people she didn't even know running for her and she has done more for others than anyone can ask for. So although she fought cancer she also was able to spend the day watching people run for her and come to the end of that run on a motorcycle. Sarah you are an inspiration to many!
Second inspirational story of the day. I put up a video of this man with no arms or legs. His moto is "No Arms, No Legs, No Worries." he talks about people asking him why he is always smiling and what he says is amazing.   He truly has no worries in life. He has a great life. He can do what almost everyone can't do and he has a way of looking at life that most people don't even consider.
I think about Sarah I think about the video I watched about this amazingly inspiring man and say to you and myself this: When I complain, When I am in pain, When I want to take a shotgun to my computer because of Blackboard I do have worries at that moment but life is good. I have a great family, great friends, I am now in a city with perfect weather and I just have no complaints about life.
All of this brings me to my next little complaint today which is the Socially F***ED up people who don't have the balls to ask: Hey, Nicole could you be throwing up, or not eating? rather than go up to my parents and make assumptions because I refuse to eat your nasty fattening food that makes me literally sick. Here is why these inspirational people make me think about you- Because I look at them and think there is no way I would allow myself be any less of a person than the inspirational people in the world, there is no way I would allow my meeting with Sarah to be in vain, and there is certainly no way I would let the little worries that have nothing to do with living life bring me down to that level. Which is why today I have had grapes with greek yogurt mixed with protein powder and some spices, homemade oatmeal with turkey bacon and cactus fruit, split pea soup, Salad, Oregano brown rice with chicken, squash seeds with cottage cheese, and there is still more yumminess to come. So no I don't throw up and believe me while in uber sick more there are moments I wish I did, and no I don't starve myself I love food to much and I wouldn't give you the benefit of actually being right.
And now I feel like Ms. Congeniality in that scene when she is doing the Q&A. you all know that scene. She says this amazing speech and everyone is all inspired and adds a last minute comment that you question but in the back of your head you are saying you go girl. however I doubt any of you are really saying you go girl at this point. I am just sick of people giving me that look of is she, is she not, she is? how about just ask. I will be honest with you. Ask anyone who actually knows me, I cannot tell a lie.
Second little B.S. Message of the day... been really wanting to go back to SLC area like a week ago but haven't yet planned on doing so after the 5k in St. George but nope have some testing for allergies to be done. So going to St. George gonna run a 5k Dedicated to the greatest grandfather out there and come back to SD. and no not happy about it and no I still don't see SD as my home yet but I feel better, I feel healthy and I have my family who have been amazing but please stop telling me I should be happy to be back. I am not. I am not happy to be back in a community where people don't have the balls to come to my face and ask me if I have an eating disorder and I am not happy to be without Kol ami and without Treehouse and without everything I gained in Utah. I am greatful to be with my family who are willing to do everything for me including tummy rubs, and including being awaken in the middle of the night on a plane because I am really not feeling well, and including eating my weird breakfast experiments. I am hoping in time this will lead to me figuring out how to be happy back in SD for good cause honestly I feel so healthy right now. Which is why with the small B.S.s in my life right now Life isn't just good, It's great!
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Monday, October 24, 2011

First official day back in SD!

Today is my first official day back in SD and well I don't know what to think.
To explain what I did today: I woke up and did my morning cooking routine which was amazing. FYI I made this amazing uber HEALTHY CAKE!! after cooking I went for my first training run. I got to two miles of a run up until my chest started hurting which hopefully will dissipate as my health gets better. After the run I went grocery shopping where a lot was in my mind. I went to VineRipe first. I forgot how amazing that place is. it isn't every grocery store you see a truck everyday constantly bringing in new produce. that place truly has the best and cheapest produce. While there I overheard the new management talking about what to add and what to get rid of. in some areas he wants to get rid of organic and add more kosher. FYI I am a believer that kosher is more healthy than organic due to the fact that organic isn't really organic anymore and there are so many regulations for kosher food that there is no question kosher food is clean food. After VineRipe I went all the way to whole foods in Hillcrest. As much as I do love getting the simply bars and soon will be ordering more I do realize I should try to find something local. Which brings me to a few thoughts. ONe is I miss all my Canadian friends and well all my RLFH family. I also miss Utah oh so much and Kol Ami which I feel like I just abandoned them which I know may seem ridiculous but the only person who knows I am not going to be there is Tyler so I do feel a little bad about that. Second thought was that I was wondering if I could bring simplybar to SD maybe a little email to the company is in order.
Off topic but for those of you who know what N.B.T. on disney channel is there is this singer from SLC :) it put a small smile on my face. she isn't to bad either.
Back to topic: which is being in whole foods thinking about protein bars. FYI I am exploring all sorts of snacks not just protein bars. going gluten free is also harder in SD. not many options like sunflower has but I think I did a pretty good job trying to find things. After grocery shopping did homework in the garage/office. I really do need to find somewhere to do my homework. A new coffee shop is in order in SD. Anyone know of a place with free wifi and great coffee? I miss BNB! great coffee, Free Wifi and great people. Just like all of Utah.
Speaking of awesome people I miss Bekka. I am in SD and I haven't been able to see my best friend yet or my little chilipepper. I have been getting a bunch of pics but I am starting to get a little jealous that my phone gets more chili time then I do. I was supposed to do breakfast with her before I left to Ohio but traffic and being sick and having a small emotional break down lead me to stopping in La Jolla and saying hopefully when I get back. I was supposed to see her last night but had to much homework do, than this morning her boss called her in early. WTF!!! The universe has spoken! Bekka and Chili time not allowed for me :( hopefully tomorrow mornings breakfast plans will workout.
Which leads me to friends. I need to call some up. I believe a certain friend requested to be my wing person for a night! I will facebook you FYI!! oh by the way really enjoyed that little surprise in Vegas. little did I know I would be bumping into friends in the most random restaurant in Vegas. more people to call and to little time to do it plus I don't even know who to start with.
honestly craving Phil's BBQ so I have two people in mind. Phone calls away starting hopefully tomorrow.
What else about today.... Nothing yet but that might change. will keep you posted.
As for Adam and Colleges Brandeis and Oberlin are not his top picks no more thanks to an unexpected trip to the near perfect Tufts which means I am asking everyone to pray to G-d or whoever/whatever you believe in for Adam although he is smart he can get in.
On to Dinner...
Till Next Time
Nicoly!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

One proud big sis!

Today was interesting. truthfully the actual day was the same as always; gym, BNB, and home to clean a little. I know it's not exactly blog material but While having my daily routine a phone call changed when I am going back to SD.
Yesterday I was talking to my daddy about him taking Adam (little brother) to colleges. they were gonna do a college visiting trip to Oberlin and Brandeis so my smart little brother can decide where to apply early admissions (and I am totally writing this just to brag about him).  I am hoping he chooses Brandeis not gonna lie but I think he wants Oberlin so far. If I am wrong I am very sorry, Adam. Honestly would be happy with either and would be happy even if he ends up going to a completely different college. He has always made me a proud big sister. To continue on with the actual OMG can't wait part of this.... I told my dad if he didn't want to go I guess I could do it for him :)!! After he talked to the ICNIC and ADAM I get to take his place :)!!!! YA I am spending less than a day in Oberlin, Ohio then a couple days in Waltham, Massachusetts. Anyone one know of good healthy places to eat in either and any fun activities in MA? I am so stocked! I can't believe my little brother is going to be in college next year. As a sister watching him grow up has been like a fantastic movie. You know the type of movie you are sitting in, on the end of the seat hoping it never ends, wondering what is going to happen next and feeling up lifted because something Amazingly perfect occurs to the lovable character in the story. Usually it's after a struggle but for Adam it's just hard work and perseverance. Really can't wait for this trip! totally wish it were a family trip but I am so ok with it being just me and Adam Last time we did a just me and Adam trip was his birthday in Disneyworld. it has been way to long.
Since today has been a little rough health wise the phone call had me thinking a lot about when to move to SD. honestly the weather is going to get worse,  and I really do want to be able to make these pumpkin/oat "cupcakes" for the family! they are so YUMMY!!! anyways I figured the plan out... drive down to St. George sunday after class, stay till tuesday morning and drive to SD, then fly to ohio on Wednesday, thursday will be an oberlin tour and a fly to Massachusetts for a couple days touring brandeis then back down to SD for a while.
FYI if anyone needs some stuff I have a lot of things not going to bring down to SD so let me know. Now I just have to tell everyone at Kol Ami :(. Dear rabbi thank you for everything but totally bailing on you and the congregation so I can have my ICNIC around when I am sick. could you imagine if I actually said it exactly like that? Getting to know her I would say she would either laugh or give some wise speech about it. FYI her Yom Kippur sermons both the night sermon and day sermon were fabulous.
I would tell people at Treehouse and I will tell them but some of you read my blog so I don't really think I have to.
Which leads me to say if any of you want to do something before this Sunday comes let me know I am so down to just do stuff with friends and not think about life.
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Today was good! A great start to the new year!! I started with yoga which I was amazing! I really like that class! the instructor is great and it really does make me feel a little better. afterwards I studied a little. To those who are in any sort of counseling; whether you are a psychologist, therapist, nutritionist, health coach, whatever you call yourself please tell me how you can't step over the line between professional and personal. Reading about counseling and it is blowing me away. learning about theories and techniques that are actually pretty awesome!
Totally about to forget to tell you about The Simply Bar! new favorite bar. I just got them last night and decided to attempt the lemon flavor. I know lemon flavored protein bar weird but it was so YUMMY! FYI Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! and Columbus day tomorrow!
After studying I went to see Ides of March with Brad. We did crab shack first which will never be done again the only reason why we did it was cause I was forgetful about the fact that every other restaurant over there is closed sundays and didn't have time to go anywhere else. but it was worth talking sports with Brad. As for Ides of March; acting was great the story line was good and the ending deserves a little israeli so so hand motion. overall it was a good movie. 
Right now I am about to study some more. possibly clean a little then sleep. before I do though I need to comment on my early morning text about not going to St. George this week. I am gonna go sometime this month but I am not sure when it is a matter of when I clean up the apt and go to SD. Ya, thats right after being sick on days with grossness in the air (not the snow, the air) it was terrible and honestly realized that I am more mad about moving back because people are pushing for me to come back. that pisses me off the most. honestly how about someone find a reason for me to stay. I listen to my parents to my grandma to everyone saying you have to come home back to SD and though that was my intent in the long run I didn't want it to be this soon. To top everything else Yom Kippur gave me a lot of different perspectives on the who situation. I really don't want life without without my friends here in Utah but then again friends always come and go (right?) but family is always there so why not make it easy for them to be there by moving back. I just hope I still keep in contact with everyone after this goes down. 
FYI quote for the day "Nothing is impossible except for impossibility." said by Phineas of Phineas and Ferb. Yes I LOVE that show and sure proud of it!! 
Till Next Time 
Nicoly! 

Friday, October 7, 2011

finished the week early in time for Yom Kippur :)

So first thing I did this morning was this really awesome kickboxing class via comcast. Only cool thing about comcast in my opinion. the woman they had teaching it was uber buff. especially in the upper arms. in fact it was to much in the upper arms. she couldn't do a proper jab because of her ridiculously muscular arms. but luckily due to a certain trainer from treehouse (hint, hint) I will have the basics of a jab in my head for the rest of my life especially the fact that you are supposed to have contact with your two MIDDLE fingers :)! I have been dying to do a run but to be honest I haven't felt good all week long. I think the weather really has gotten to me.
second thing of the day was this awesome video that got sent to me by my cousin Joe. I think I have mentioned planet W before. he sent me this video of him presenting planet W and no joke at the end you could see a standing ovation get started :) FYI everyone should go to theplanetw.com and watch the videos.
Third item of the day: SCHOOL!!! I honestly can't wait till its over. On a good note I woke up thinking I was behind but have been sitting in BNB working my butt off and I actually have finished everything due this week. now i have about 40 minutes till I am going to go to Sage's cafe for a delicious nut burger, gluten free, vegan!!! FOOD THAT DOESN'T ADD TO TUMMY ISSUES. I can't wait to meet with this allergist. the only open time is one the seventeenth of this month but to be honest I have no idea if I can last with this climate, weather change going on. I have been trying to tell myself that I am just imagining it and that I am actually getting better but after last night (after the movie) I woke up in oh so much pain! I am ok now and really just extremely exhausted but I don't think I can lie to myself anymore. Dear Utah and Snow, I love you I really do but why don't you love me back? 
Now on to Yom Kippur because I am so not going to right my blog about Yom Kippur on Yom kippur I will do it now. So basically day of forgiveness. So I have to say I am sorry to my family for putting them through all of this sickness BS. I am sorry to Utah for whatever I have done for it to hate me so much and I am sorry that I am a little gossip obsessed. What I want to change this year, I want to be healthy I want to be able to really stay in one place for more than a few months and some other things that I will hold to myself at the moment.
Lastly for fasting: I have been debating on it and only because of what Lucy mentioned to me about it being a sin while on meds but I figured for a day off the meds which honestly if I do eat I feel tons better and don't really need the meds but I always listen to my grandparents and although she is not my grandmother by blood she is my grandma in my heart. So I feel terrible not listening to her but. ever since I was 12 I have fasted and its not that I do it because I am told to. there is truly something about taking a day off of food, clothes, life, everything except for the relationship you have with Hashem, your family and your friends. So the first apology I have to make this year is to Lucy. I am really sorry for not listening to you, but I will be careful. I have a stash of emergency food prepared if need be and water of course. So I am ready for forgiveness.
gotta go get ready
Till Next Time
Nicoly! 


Sunday, October 2, 2011

my odd experiments

So for those of you who haven't realized this, my meals aren't completely normal in the eyes of most people. I have made a turkey sausage sweat potato hash, banana oat pancake, and some pretty crazy salad dressings. but today I have to say was weird even for me. don't get me wrong it was still pretty darn delicious so I do recommend to pass the fear of weirdness. let me start with the fact that I woke up this morning not having much in the kitchen. I have been gone for the week so why would I have food in the kitchen. So as I am looking around I find (aside from seasonings) frozen bananas, oats, protein powder, and fish (cod to be exact. ya I bet a normal person would just think protein shake or pancakes or something like that right? I am a little different. I thought "you know, I think I am craving fish." ya thats right I went for the fish. FYI all of this started last night. the fish I was going to do for dinner or lunch so I defrosted it last night. no joke I was staring at the fish thinking what crazy thing can I do to make eating cod for breakfast at least ok. I will tell you right now it was more than ok it ended up being so yummy. I generously covered the fish with a dry rub of a whole lot of cinnamon a good amount of Mrs. Dash (the southwest chipotle flavor), a bit of ginger and a boat load of stevia and then put that baby on a scorching pan. with the banana and oats I made probably the best pancake I have ever made. and I left the powder out of it all. I know it sounds weird and it gets a little more weird. I needed a sauce. mustard, tomato puree and stevia. it actually wasn't that bad. it works really well with the pancake and pretty good with the fish.
I know I am weird and I should have just gone out to eat or something but it was delicious. I was shocked as to how it succeeded, so shocked that I actually mentioned in my class today.
We were talking about how pleased g-d was when he was creating the earth that he actually did a double take Wow move. you know the one. you finish a homework assignment or cook something shockingly great that you even surprise yourself that you have to do the wow, WOW double take. I had to mention that I felt the same way this morning for the weird concoction that I made. FYI for those of you who know about my crazy meals no that they usually aren't to bad so please give it a try. the pancake is simply blended up frozen banana and oats with water (you can add milk). and for the fish just use a somewhat light white fish.
The rest of the day was my shopping for groceries day for the obvious reasons. went to Sunflower and Costco.
before class I attempted a run fyi. it was an epic fail! not cause I am sick in fact I feel pretty great today aside from the chest pains which I have a feeling will never go away. No it was because I totally forgot about the whole high altitude BS here in SLC area. I went straight for the run and started getting woozy. had to cool it down about half way through it. but it was still a pretty nice run/walk. to top it off grocery shopping for me is always a workout. think about it. your running around stores looking for the food on your list, then I got to carry the stuff to my car. at home the hard part begins. I have to make 3-4 trips everytime I shop and I am on the third and last for in my apartment complex. now add 4-5 bags each trip, a box or to filled from costco and you have an awesome workout.
I don't know if I forgot anything about today but I will say that it was one great day and now I am going to study for nutrition before I have to study for classes tomorrow.

Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Happy New YEAR!!! SHANNA TOVA!!

All Righty Today is all about the Jewish New Year. In perspective it isn't really just the Jewish new year but the new year for a few others in the world. It's just The new Year on the Lunar calendar. Every time This New Year comes along I think about that a lot when this day comes. I think about this book I read many years ago. If I recall the name of it is Numbers? I don't remember the name but I remember this chapter like I watched it in a movie. The main Character with her family on a train trying to get out of Germany. A soldier comes up to them and asks.... Why are you traveling? is it for the New Year? a test and they wisely reply no. think about that. for a second... At that time it was a test you are Jewish if you celebrate the New Year during this time of year. Now as a jewish culture not only are we proud of who we are but today we go out to the park as a community and show the world that we are a strong group of people that really love celebrating the New Year. There really isn't much about it that is different from the regular New Year. For one thing it is a time to celebrate with the people you love and most importantly it is a time to look at yourself and say how can I change this year to make you proud. However the small yet important difference is who you are talking to when you think about who you are changing for. For the most part you want to change for yourself but honestly that really you ask yourself January 1st. You say to make myself more proud of myself I need to...... But on Rosh Hashana, the "jewish" New Year you look at g-d where ever you think he is and you say.... " dear Adonai, I am sorry for making my mistakes and now for the new year I would like to be a better person for you. I hope I can do that for you. So think of it this way for the Jews and some others out there in the world you get to New Years resolutions One for yourself and one for G-d or whatever Higher being you believe in or if you don't believe in anything take that time to ask others how you can be a better person in their eyes. I know that sounds ridiculous technically I am trying to tell you to change for others but thats not what I am saying at all. I am saying listen to those in your life and pay attention to your flaws so that when January first comes along you can say ok I know what I need to do to be a better person in my life. friends no more about that then you do. 
Which leads me to my next question I ask Hashem and I ask all my friends reading this what "change" would you like to see in me. And if it's to wear more pink like some have mentioned the answer is absolutely not. 
On another holiday it is really nice to be home with family for the holiday. I do miss Utah and a little jealous that every one is having a fabulous time at their Kol ami picnics but family is what new years is all about. 
So today I had breakfast with Bekka who is basically family, went to services with the family which makes me miss Kol Ami. Honestly rather disappointing services, and I am really sorry if I offend people saying that but really? don't say you are not going to get into politics and then have others give speeches about politics in some hidden way. This isn't the time. I left early cause well gotta love those pains. I am kind of grateful for it at that time. It was the perfect excuse to leave. not saying that I felt any less Jewish leaving. I did my own little thoughtful prayers at home I asked Hashem myself what I need to do to be a better person this year. To be honest I don't like the answer back. And no I am not one of those crazies on the streets of New York screaming to the top of my lungs about G-d thinking we are all Damned. I know what this year for me is going to be about. All I have to say is Adonai Ta'azor li. I hope I have the strength for what's about to come.  It sucks growing up! 
On to tashleich! after my own little prayer time, and some studying I went to Lake Murray before tashleich for a walk/run and then Tashleich. A tradition the night of Rosh Hashana where you through your sins away. No Joke, you take bread crumbs each one is supposed to represent a sin and you just toss them into the lake. hopefully the ducks go for it. Every year for me it's the same thing I toss a bunch of little crumbs for the typical sins (lying, cheating, etc..) and then one massive piece of bread. This piece is supposed to represent the biggest sin of the year. As I got to that piece of bread I thought to myself what would be the biggest sin of this year? This is when I make my choice of what I need to do in the next year. I toss the big chunk of bread into the lake and as a sign this gianormous seagull dives in and grabs it. Why this is a sign?... because no other creature went for any other bread. Usually the ducks wait till after everyone tosses all there bread. but this seagull just went for it. Darn seagull made it official! 
Now I am at home after being bailed on by Bekka (for a good reason).  I am actually enjoying it. everyone is out doing there own thing and I am writing my blog which I haven't done in a while. 
Thinking about tomorrow. I am getting an Ultra sound done, I think I mentioned but I don't recall mentioning it so I am going to repeat myself. Ultrasound done of my lungs because according to St. Marks hospital I may have a nodule on my lungs however I didn't find this out until recently "WTF?" not gonna lie slightly disappointed I am not getting it done in Utah. Only cause I get it done by the same person every single time in Utah. It's kind of nice getting comfortable with a person who gets that close and personal with you. I guess I will have to tell you how it goes when I finish. Really getting to the point in life where I am ready to go back to good ol Utah! I miss my Utah Jews and plus I gotta get my lesson plan done for my class :)!! 
Oh FYI if anyone knows an alergist in Utah I could definitely use one. 
going to bed early after no sleep last night...
Till Next Time 
Nicoly!!  

Saturday, September 24, 2011

the things I say when I am in pain.

Today was actually pretty great.! I woke up to a beautiful crisp morning so I decided that a run must be done. it took me a little over an hour to run 6 miles. which means I got to attempt a ten k soon. after the lovely run I went to services. I really love Kol Ami. It feels like home when I am there. I can't wait to go back tomorrow to teach some people Hebrew. I promised Tyler that after services I would take him out to lunch for a belated birthday lunch. We went to Sage's Cafe. for those of you who are in Utah why haven't you told me about this GEM! it was amazingly delicious! I got portabello mushroom tacos. here is where the day gets a little interesting... I asked for gluten free and they accidently put on this mock cheese that isn't gluten free. the waitress actually warned me and wanted to take it back for me but I told her it wasn't a big deal. which it really wasn't and that cheese made the tacos that much more yummy. An hour later though it wasn't really worth it and I should have had her bring it back. I really do think my issues are some how food related because I ended up at BNB on the bathroom floor in pain. called the ICNIC cause well anytime I have an attack like that I need her. went outside and spent about 30 minutes in pain. of course it was the typical conversation with her while this is going on.... "you want me to come?" NO, "You want to come home" NO! I just need you on the phone. however I think I made it official that I am going back to SD a little sooner than I planned after I said I need to come home for good. for some reason that is the first thing in my mind when I can't breath. Its not I should go to the hospital or maybe I should get someone to help, its I want my ICNIC and I want to be home. looking at it now it just seems childish. To be honest I don't really care. I love Utah and what I have in Utah but family right now would be nice. People assume that it's about having company there when stuff like this happens, which don't get me wrong is nice but even after becoming friends with the people who work at BNB I really didn't want them to know what was going on I just wanted family. It's weird I have spent forever thinking I didn't care about having my family there and that a phone call would work but this year I have learned otherwise. so one year I learn to be happy with who I am and to keep myself strong and healthy so I can stay happy. the next year I learn that I want to be a nutritionist/trainer and that I really would prefer being In SD with the family. if only I can bring my friends from Utah and Kol Ami to SD and life will be perfect.
After the whole situation I continued on working on the lesson plan for tomorrow's class which I am really stocked about. I love that class! I have already learned a whole lot in that class and I have only taught one session. maybe I will finish off the few weeks of classes and then go home?
Right at this moment I am continuing the lesson plan soon I will go into the kitchen and do the dishes and then to bed a little early.
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

two days of driving

I have to tell you about the past two days. they were days filled with driving and  just downright bad luck while doing so.
I started driving yesterday around six after making breakfast for the family I hope you guys enjoyed it. forgot to get onto the 15 so I had to take the 805 decided to stay on it for a while. In LA I nearly got into a horrible accident. some guy three cars down decided to break check everyone behind him. I ended up swerving so bad I was on the side of the freeway facing the wrong way. Thank You A**WHOLE! lucky no one got hurt and I was able to pull a uturn and get back on track quickly. After that nothing epic until vegas! in between I kind of knew I wasn't feeling well so rather then do the full treck all the way to SLC I texted Steff asked her to crash on the couch. Thanks STEFF!!! before I got to St. George I stopped in Vegas for lunch which I will admit was delicious went to that restaurant in the palazzo again. This time around I got the portabella sandwich. the most amazing sandwich I have ever had! After kunch I had a few minutes so I decided to play one game. wheel of fortune. I won 60 bucks :). my luck changed right after. As I was grabbing the ticket to take it to the cashier I got really sick and ran to the bathroom completely forgetting about my cell phone. I left it at the game and when I came back it was gone. I spent way to long trying to find that phone which was never found :(!!! so I am phoneless at the moment. to top it off I really wasn't feeling well. I decided to just leave and figure things out when I got to St. George. as I continued driving I don't really understand why but I had the worst pain. it was so brutal that once I exited the freeway being 2 minutes away from real life I turned into the denny's parking lot and just fell to the floor. weirdest thing is that after 5 minutes of me trying to get someone's attention in denny's it just stopped. so I just decided to continue my drive. Got to RLFH and everything was alright after that. went to this amazing sushi place with Steff, Colton, and Thomas. seriously that was the best sashimi platter I have ever had. that was pretty much yesterdays crazy day. Today wasn't as crazy. I did bootcamp with RLFH. it was leg day today and for those of you who are having dreaded flashbacks right now it hasn't changed. those donkey kicks still hurt in the best way. I crawled to my car after that so I can get to Verizon. Turns out some guy in vegas called up bekka asking for money for the phone WTF!!!!! My daddy being as awesome as he is stopped service to my phone and got a new one being sent to me thanks to insurance!! which means new phone coming soon! after that fabulous news I went to my favorite breakfast place to get my favorite granola muesli. I also brought my homework to do for a few minutes. left around 12 and headed home to good old South Jordan. not gonna lie though this entire day has been feeling pretty painful but I really don't get why so I won't get into those details. time for bed so...

Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Weekend of sadness and joy!

This weekend is an interesting one historically for the country and for myself personally. First off today is the Birthday of my grandfather. s after doing some homework I went with my family to the cemetery to wish him a happy birthday. For those of you who have been reading my blog from the start may recall a blog about me not being honest with him about me wanting to be able to know who I am as a person. A couple weeks ago I wrote a letter to him for today. explaining exactly who I am. and wishing him a happy birthday. So today along with my amazing family I went to the cemetery. In my hand  I have this letter folded up so no one else can read it (fyi would like it to stay that way) and a rock that I got forever ago on my first hike in Utah. whats amazing to me was the number of rocks on his stone. For those of you who have a ? above your head wondering why a rock? It's a Jewish tradition, flowers die down but rocks live on forever like the heart and soul of a person no matter where they go they last forever in our hearts. My grandfather was loved by many and that makes me a proud granddaughter and a thankful granddaughter. the short period of time I got to know my true grandfather before he became sick was amazing. I couldn't ask for a better gradngather.
I do have to talk about one other person in my life that unfortunately passed away a while ago and I have mentioned him before, Grandpa David!!! As I was putting down the letter and rock on my grandpa's stone and wishing him a happy birthday I get a glimpse of another stone, Grampa dave taught me basketball and would make me smile anytime I would see him. It is amazing the feeling you get when you walk  into someones home or even just see a person out in the world and you see their pride in you. that is what Grandpa Dave was like. at dinner last night I got the greatest comment ever! I told gramma lucy that I ran a 5k and the first thing she said was Dave would be so proud. She doesn't know this but that seriously just made everything that has happened this past year and a half worth it. all the hard work, all the sickness, the weight loss, the days when I just want to scream because I am stressed over school,  everything was worth it! I know that grampa Joe and grampa Dave are proud of everything I have done this year. I miss them both oh so much.
Now for the rest of the day I decided I needed to have a happy day so I went to sushi at Banbu with Adam which was delicious and a movie, The Help which is by far the most uplifting movie I have ever seen. you know Its a good movie when mid move most of the people watching are clapping. Tonight I am going to go spend time with bekka and see another movie.
Tomorrow will be well 9/11 and yes we should all remember that and take that moment of silence to remind ourselves of that day, but also remember that tomorrow is also a celebration for those who have great grandparents. Tomorrow is also Grandparents Day!! I know I have and have had great grandparents so I am not going to be mourning for long tomorrow. I will be celebrating my grandparents. 
FYI I am missing Utah!
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

going to the dr.

First let me tell you about yesterday cause I forgot to do that. nothing really special occurred during the day. I did homework and went to my grandma's place for labor day which was nice. I loved I do love spending time with my family. Today was kind of busy to some degree. did some homework, went to get my car fixed up :) I love getting fixed here. there is this place that I go to all the time and they treat my car so well. I went to the day spa to make an appointment for some stuff, then to downtown with my daddy for something he had to do and then to DR. Braverman who honestly made more sense than every other doctor I have been to. some stuff was a little much honestly I don't think I can take that many meds all at once and still debating on if I will but we shall see maybe I will do one step at a time. FYI the way it was explained to me was that my insides are still what they were when I weighed over 260 pounds which can cause a whole lot of pain, kind of like the little boy's heart in the move John Q but with my intestines. it was rather entertaining to watch him work. it was like watching a painter think about the next stroke he is going to paint. Every little thing I told him and every little thing he noticed was like a stroke, creating this painting that eventually becomes more than just strokes on a canvas. it becomes a hand made picture. I guess that is just how I feel since he is someone I know. he also mentioned that it could be like that indefinitely which kind of sucks and answers a lot of questions I have been having and now I just want to say screw that. I should explain a little more. FYI while I am explaining myself please feel free to disagree with me and give me another option ( I have been wanting that).... I was thinking about what to do cause being in Utah is where I want to be but it is nice to have my family around when I feel like crap. of course I have been thinking about coming back to SD, but only because I have a few family members calling me and begging me to do so. Honestly I have thought about in extremely painful moments but I never actually wanted to. After leaving Salt Lake Area, away from all the smog I realized I could breath. Which brought the thought back into my mind. I got to San Diego and felt like I could breath but still had quite a bit of pain. Now I am doing loads better, I can breath still and I am starting to be able to eat like normal with out the feeling of being suffocated by food. This isn't because of medication because I haven't taken medication in weeks and it's not a mental thing because to be honest I am so much more happier in Utah. Today though when I left Dr. Braverman all that was in my head was ok we have an answer I want to go back home to Utah, and then I got home and thought to myself if I were at home (in Utah) I wouldn't be weirder out by the new housekeeper because I don't have a housekeeper (although it would be nice to have someone who enjoys doing laundry), I wouldn't feel weird in my own bed and I wouldn't feel uncomfortable about going to some coffee shop to do homework. To top it all off I went to watch the Baseball game, Padres vs. Giants up top of my brothers apt. all I could think about was the bees game and how it would be nice to go to another game and how I am so ready to get into my car right now and start driving back up home. however the more I sat there the more realistic thoughts came into my head. I thought about what would occur when I do go back, I would feel sick from the air, I would have those conversations with my mother that would scare her and want her to fly up to Utah just because I am feeling pain for an hour. to top it off I did tell myself that if this is some chronic thing I would come back. I know that sounds ridiculous because I could take care of my issues with some medication but I know myself. I am not going to want to take anything and I will probably "forget" from time to time. like the other night. I forgot to take lactaid before having a shake and that was not the wise choice. In those moments I really don't want to think I want my mommy and only be able to call her. I think it would be easier if I could call her and she was only a 5 minute drive away. even though she isn't even here right now still that was and is the big pro of coming back to SD. the other one is the fact that if I come back to SD I won't have to do the dishes all the time which would be awesome. I really do hate doing dishes. Anyways thinking about I have a feeling that once I get my car back I will back up and go but that wouldn't be wise cause that would be tomorrow and even I am not that irresponsible enough to just bail before I get the medication that I have to take. I have also come to the conclusion that the smart thing to do is to listen to everyone else but I honestly just don't want to. I want to go back to South Jordan and go to boondocks for the day, or to lagoon, to be honest the first thing that pops into my head is going to synagogue. on friday I so want to go to services at Kol Ami. I miss it sooo much. Then I thought of the Alzheimer's walk coming up on the 17th and how I am so down for that and this 10k coming up as well. FYI totally ran in the rain today, it was the most amazingly orgasmic feeling ever. I don't know why I decided to do so but it was so worth it. Now going off to bed because I am just ready to pass out... again if you have any reason why I shouldn't listen to everyone I would much appreciate it Till Next Time Nicoly!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

the phineas and ferb roller coaster

I titled this lovely blog based on the first episode of the greatest cartoon on television at the moment so please if you haven't seen it watch it, at least the first episode so you understand the blog a little more.
I was trying to explain the levels of different pain today and to be honest it was just weird! it was like every symptom that I usually have on different days decided to show up on an hourly basis. Which is when I thought about phineas and ferb and the roller coaster in the first episode. it is exactly like that. a ridiculous elevation was in the morning when I woke up and felt great! a tremendous drop right after when I attempted to run. the run looked like I was about to topple over so I decided to make it a nice long walk after I got to the train tracks and realized it isn't going to happen. I really want it to cause I found a 10k in Lehi I want to start training for. anywho after the run it was like that one part of the rollercoaster that they make fun of but I can't remember exactly what they call it but it is a zigzag shape. just up and down. and to top it of it was all different motions of pain which is why I call today's weirdness the Phineas and Ferb roller coaster of pain.
I gotta say one thing about today and life.... I love my parents and it sucks that I always want to call them when I am in pain. I want to call them other times too but it really makes me feel better when I call them while the pain gets bad. of course when I call them they get worried and plan an emergency trip to Utah or something like that but honestly all I need is to know that they are there and that I can call them. they also tend to call nurses who are working hard to get results back FYI thank you Ashley the nurse who really is trying.
Today wasn't bad though I have been learning a lot about B vitamins and I got to take a break when I went to lunch with Kimber which was awesome. I haven't seen Kimber since I have been in St. George so it's been some time.FYI Kimber really sorry for looking a little out of it but it was nice chattin with you!
Tomorrow is the drive down to St. George!!! I am so stocked!! I can't wait. I get to see my favorite group of people! and honestly some time with friends and some time around the program itself will be awesome. the people that come through RLFH are always motivating so I am hoping tomorrow hearing their stories will take my mind off of my body.
FYI I watched next last night which was actually pretty good. I am a huge Nicolas Cage fan (only his acting though). I could care less about his crazy personal life.
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

mi sheberach!

Today was amazingly inspiring!!! I woke up and prepared myself for a small 5k called Sweatin for Sarah! it was spectacular. I met a lot of inspiring people including Sarah. After the 5k I got to meet Jen's family who just seem awesome! I say we do a movie night one day. No joke when I left I checked the time and told myself I have enough time to finish up some services at kol ami so I went over their did a little praying said mishe berach for Sarah, and unfortunately quite a few people today. It is a tough time for many and unfortunately many people are sick these days. In Judaism on shabbat we are not supposed to ask for anything except for one thing and one thing only... that is good health spiritually, mentally, and physically for people. I don't know why this really is because G-d is taking a break just like we are. However after today I realized for me at least it was because we want him to remember them for the next day. For myself it is like going to a friend with great connections and saying "hey I know you are on vacation but when you come back can you remember to help out a friend of mine, they aren't doing to well and they can use the help. Now I don't condone asking g-d for anything on shabbat but I will say that its ok to ask him to come back the next day and help even just one person tomorrow. Speaking of which is it sad that I really do want to do an east coast trip to smack some sense into some doctors for a friend of mine. If I do go over there I could make it some awesome trip... visit everyone from RLFH and end up in Massachusetts where some Dr.s are going to here about how ridiculous they are. Maybe I will do a North America Road trip while I am at it that would be awesome! including Canada. If I am correct I have a few people over there that I need to visit. (one day)
Speaking of health I know a lot of you want to know about mine to be honest I really don't know the past couple days have been weird. I will not deny that last night I was close to facebooking Jen telling her I will be on the side lines rooting for her in the 5k but for some reason I told myself to hold of for a bit and next thing you know I woke up feeling like I could run a 5k so I did which was awesome and to top it off I increased my speed so I thought today would be great! which it was don't get me wrong but as I was leaving the synagogue I started feeling it. not gonna lie I was in a whole lot of pain at that moment but I really don't know why. I do know that I am still feeling it and I cannot wait till I get that damn phone call from Dr. Falahati's office. I really am not complaining though. compared to what sarah is fighting I just have a tiny little stomach flu.
Honestly I am glad I experienced today. I was able to meet people who are fighting battles that most people wouldn't be able to fight. To be honest thinking about my pain it really is nothing it is just pain. the difference between me and the people I prayed for today is that they are struggling for more than I am and myself I am just tired of a small pain.
alright I have procrastinated enough time to finish homework!
FYI if she doesn't mind me putting this up... my heart goes out to my good friend Tami! She is going through a lot and I really really do wish I can come over there and get those doctors to make up their minds.
and I left everyone a little prayer just remember add the when you wake up tomorrow, G-d is on a little vacation at the moment
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Friday, August 26, 2011

a terrible test and gettin nervous for tomorrow

Lesson of the day before I tell you about my day: protein and Amino acid supplements are not the way to go. Seriously due to the fact that your body needs to digest the body needs to beable to digest and break down on it's own so having amino supplements instead of meals takes that away and to top it of it may cause damage to the liver. TRIPPY!!
Today was a day of school (again). woke up cookeda delicious days worth of food, did an awesome ab lab, then did school which included the most terrible kinesiology mid-term. I got a 63% :(!!!!
Tonight I am going to go search for an outfit for tomorrow than go to the movies with brad!!! I should go to services but I want to hangout with the Brad before I head down to SD this week! I am so stocked for SD!!! I get to see my aunt and uncle who live in Tennessee. I don't get to see them often. FYI the movie I am seeing tonight is our idiot brother. I will tell you how it is.
Is it lame that I am skipping out on service? I feel kind of guilty but I don't get to see brad enough. I did do my morning prayers, read my tehilim and I am going to light the shabbos candles so I should be good.
anywho I should head out and find something to wear tomorrow.
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

FALAFEL CHIPS!!!

Today wasn't to be of a day. I got an ultrasound done first thing. Funny thing is I had the same person do a couple other tests on me her name is angie and I think it is a little sad that she knows me but also a little more comfy when I have to go in there. I don't get to find out the results till later on in life so I shall let you all know about it when I find out. After that I just did some homework. around 3 I decided to go to sunflower so I just get my mind and body outside of homework and beans and brew and so I can get food to last me till I go back to SD. FYI I am heading down next week and stopping by SG first off. I cannot wait!!! I think I am getting moreand more hints as to what i should do but there is just one important factor stopping me so I shall give you more details when I figure that all out. Sunflower was actually fun. I know that may sound weird to most but 1. I love grocery shopping and 2. there was a free sampling of FALAFEL CHIPS!!! I don't know if any of you have heard of it but it is soooo YUMMY!!! All natural all organic, gluten free, low in calories and they actually taste like really delicious falafel. I am not talking it taste like falafel that was made at the semi decent american infused Mediterranean falafel, I am talking falafel from the greatest little falafel shack in Israel which FYI my mother is walking distance from (OH SO JEALOUS)! seriously though she is walking distance from that little shack at the gas station down in Hod Hasharon passed out. I don't even know if that Falafel joint is still there or not but I will never forget it and I really just want some good falafel. hmmmm.... I wonder if I can make some yummy healthy falafel? Still having some weird mood swings but I really do think its cause of sleep deprivation. I couldn't sleep well last night. what sucks is this time around I know it's cause my mind is rambling. its doing the whole pros and cons thing and it just sucks when you are trying to sleep. I will say this that no matter what I do I need a job! so I am looking. don't get me wrong doing the whole teaching hebrew which is volunteer work will be fun but its only on sundays and only for 5 weeks so I don't even know what to do after the fact. oy! before I rumble on more I should go but I do have one more thing I gotta put up before I do so..... 2 MORE DAYS TILL SWEATIN FOR SARAH 5K!!! everyone should look it up and donate FYI the story is pretty intense and well lets just say Sarah is a pretty deserving.
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

a wedding reception and a fun read.

The start of my day is fantastic! It started off with the most delicious breakfast a yummy dairy free egg free banana oat pancake (half medium frozen banana, 1/3 cup oats, stevia, and 3/4 TB balsamic, 1/2 cup of water or till texture is fit for a pancake), with turkey bacon! YUM!! then a tough well needed yoga class. I love that class! the instructor is great and it is a great way to workout and regain energy for the rest of the week. after yoga, I read about drinking in nutrition! what I have learned so far is that there are two types of water to look for (hard and soft, hard being the better choice), orange juice is great for you, there is really no accurate research stating that caffeine is bad for you unless you have more than three servings of it, energy drinks are terrible and don't really give you what they say they do, vitamin water won't give you any vitamins, sports drinks (the right ones for the right amount of energy output is good for you, and the best non water drink to have is freshly squeezed orange juice. I also learned a little about alcohol and will learn a whole lot more about it tomorrow hopefully. I only got to read for a little bit because I went to a wedding reception for the rabbi. That was fun, schmoozed with everyone I could and now after a fun conversation with the greatest man in my life, My daddy! I am going to go to bed so I can be ready for tomorrow which will be just as awesome! FYI I have been talking to a few people about the big decision I need to make for my health and I will say there is no right answer and hearing my dad say he doesn't know felt great because everyone else needed to give there two cents and honestly just needed to here someone say I don't know.
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

A thoughtful day after an amazing ride.

So this blog is an interesting one. I started the day with an amazing bike ride on the Jordan river path. Can I just say it is the greatest thing living right by the river. it's not as gorgeous as the Banias River in Israel but it is so peaceful. I after that I finished me thread for kinesiology. had to right about the wrist and hand joint actions and name the muscles that go with it. very interesting stuff. after that I tested out my 3DS which is amazing! the 3D on that thing is so cool and of course ocarina of time is fanFreakinTastic!!. and now I am learning about lipids in Nutrition class. Did you know that due to the fact that Omega-3s and omega-6 fatty acids fight for the same enzymes there ends up not being enough in the body there for omega-3 and 6 are essential. notice that 9 isn't in there. FYI you can easily gain both from fish, vegetable oils and nuts. you don't need to take pills for it.
I had an interesting conversation with Tyler today about who we are envious about. So I am going to ask you all who do you envy. I thought about it for some time and all I could thinks was that I envy the people who never have to be brave.
Today had a whole lot of thinking involved which is never good but lets just say I am grateful for the friends I have they are all amazing, I love my family and miss them dearly and I am tired. You ever just have one of those days where honestly every ounce of you is just mentally done. as not so terrible as this day was (in fact it was a good day) I sit here wondering if I can just for one day get rid of all the pain, put school aside and responsibilities away and just take a trip to some remote beach (preferably the new Disney Resort in Hawaii or a Disney cruise) and just sleep, run and enjoy the day in the water. To be honest I don't even need that. I want a break that gives me memories to share. I haven't had that in a while. I mean really who wants to share a story about doing homework. I want to add to memories like acting asleep while Bekka gets pissed off at the guy on the speaker because he might wake me up, or going on to splash mountain at night with Adam while it's raining because there is no line (so worth it by the way).
Now of course you all want a pain update. nothing has changed. I have gotten a lot of questions and for some reason people want the details so here is what you need to know. Its triggered by 3 things: 1. food, any food really. 2. is a little TMI so I wont post that. and 3. this one is weird to me but leaning over, as if to pick something up. these triggers or like eicosanoids (reference from nutrition book), they effect each part of the body differently and that is just to much information to type up on a blog and again I am tired so not putting it all up here. Now I have finished my HW and studying for the day, I have had a thoughtful day, and I had an amazing bike ride so aside from chest and stomach issues it has been amazing. so now I can go to bed happy.
It's amazing I started writing this blog bummed out about some stuff and I finished realizing that life is near perfection. (a vacation would still be nice though)
Till Next Time!
Nicoly

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

my selfish thought

before I started my day today I went on a run. it was an interesting run filled with a lot of thoughts. For those of you who don't know this, I run because it is the only time when I know how to block out thoughts or even change my thoughts. So today while running I thought about not running because I was scared I would be hurting to much then I stopped that thought, I thought about SD and how much I miss it and told myself I will be there soon FYI if I go on the 5th of next month I get to see my uncle who I haven't seen in years! I am so stocked! I need to get on planning that trip. here is where my selfish thought comes in. I was thinking about all the great real lifers and some of the not so greats. both put a smile on my face especially after a little laughter while thinking about a certain nose picker in the corner of the bowling ally doing what he does best. As I was thinking about the RLFers I thought about the ones that went home and how their lives have improved so much and how some have even become marathoners or are in the works of it, or how for some they have become trainers themselves. then it hit me... Again it is a selfish thought for a split second and a split second only so please please please forgive me. I think I even said it out loud. I thought Damn them. (SORRY) I have been fighting being sick since I left RLFH the second time around and every time I get closer to my goal I get sick again. I did stop that thought though and change it completely first remember that I love most of my RLFH family and that I am proud of each and every single one of you for working crazy hard to get to your goals. second know that after that split second I thought wow I am a biznatch! then I checked my watch realized that my time improved by about 30 seconds. and I thought thirty seconds after not running for a week cause of course I have been sick is pretty fabulous. That lead to even though I haven't improved as quickly as a normal person would I have improved I am growing strong and hopefully I will be running sweatin for sarah 5k kickin some dirt in someones face ;)! and then for the next few minutes all I could think about was the fact that I will never think that selfishly until this afternoon but that is a little to personal even for my blogs and it had nothing to do with RLFH.
On that note I should tell you about my day.... I went grocery shopping! I love sunflower FYI! greatest grocery store out there. two weeks worth of a ton of food for uber cheap and I can easily find lactose and gluten free items. I am even going to attempt this new Gluten,Lactose and Soy free protein powder later on tonight that I hope is good, I also got these cables that I have been needing for my game systems and now i can play all I want (great for sick days) now all I want is a little mini table or something to make all the systems bunched up by the fire place look pretty. Now I am at BNB taking a break from homework. FYI about 2 seconds ago I got this awesome invite to an oh so special occasion is it lame that it totally made my day?
will let you all know about that protein powder.
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Friday, August 12, 2011

welcome back pain.

Today has been rough although I did enjoy reading about carbs today. It's amazing how much information you can process just by reading at a booth in Beans and Brew. Yes I do go there everyday to do homework and study. I can't concentrate at home so why not? apparently my body has decided that it missed all the stomach pains and chest pains and so forth so I woke up this morning feeling crappy went to ab lab which oddly enough had an instant gratification affect so Thank you Melissa for that. I attempted a quick little jog afterwards wanted to do a little cardio which didn't work out very well so I just drove down to beans and brew where all I did was homework. On a good note rather than seeing an endocrinologist in September, I get to see him monday at three. Still have to say I am so sick of doctors so far it has all been the same b.s. I go to a different doctor they give me some form of medication that helps a bit but then starts to faze out or the side effects aren't even worth it. so needless to say I hope this ends up being different. I will say that I think I just want to detox and restart my body and guaranteed that will fix things up. Go gluten, egg, lactose, and certain fruits free. basically nearly vegan but I need my meat! sorry folks of the vegetarian world but meat actually is one of the only foods I can put in my system without feeling like death. That and my yummy comfort bars which thank g-d I found those and thank Wholefoods in hillcrest for having them in stock.
at the end of the day I also went to services where I got to pray a little got to see my third favorite puppy at the moment and I got to be around amazing people who are giving me a volunteer job. the only bummer to that is that I would have to miss my sunday yoga :( I guess I have to find a different yoga class. I really like the yoga instructor though :(.
Now I am at home chillin with alysha who is flying tomorrow back to Ropo to start of the school year. Now of to bed cause I am in pain and tired.

Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

My day of failing

Today was a day of workout failures! I woke up really wanting to go for a swim so I got into the pool and just went for it. I haven't been swimming in a while and to top it off I am just getting back from yesterdays slump of feeling sick so swimming ended up a failure. I got 11 out of 20 laps I intended to do and they were totally half fast and I just couldn't breath most of the time so after 11 laps I decided that was enough got out and went on to beans and brew after a shower to do school work which I have been having troubles with the help desk so now my grade in Human Anatomy has dropped drastically. More failure. after that frustration and finishing my kinesiology assignment I decided to go to Barnes n Noble. didn't get anything just prayed that by some miracle just walking in through the door would get me a nook. Kind of like how some people who randomly walk into Disneyland can win a night at the dream suite. I think the dream sweat would be a better win but disneyland is to far of a drive at the moment. unfortunately there was no special win with the nook. although it did look very beautiful. I did find out that November 15th is the release day for the new Diary of a Wimpy kid book coming out. FYI Jen, when that occurs I am coming down for a visit and doing a reading session with the boys. Next failure of the day was the fact that I left my stuff at barnes and noble after I left. I realized this rather quickly called them up and they held it for me. rather than turning around though I decided to add a bike ride to my day. The bike ride wasn't that successful either. for some reason my seat kept on dropping. I tried tightening it as much as possible but something has gone wrong with the bike. I did make it to barnes, it just took a little longer than it should have. again I walked into the store hoping that by some miracle someone would come up to me and say "congratulations! you have just won a nook." It did not happen but I did get my stuff back and went back home. which was so much harder than biking there. The seat wasn't the issue but the wind was. it makes such a difference to the bike ride. that was pretty much the last thing I did today. Overall a lot of upsets during the day but not a bad day. these are failures that make my life interesting and they remind me that I am only human and that I have to up my swimming.
I do have to add that it still stuns me that in one day It will be the most beautiful weather in the morning and then lighting storms in the afternoon. WTF? not that I am complaining I do love it, it's just so confusing to me. I have been also thinking about this coming tuesday which is Tisha B'av which includes a fast and I will remember to write about it when the time comes. For months now I have been thinking of taking part in the fast. to be honest I have only done it once. back in the day at Camp Ramah. It was a great experience and to top it off to break the fast we got Chocolate croissants which were amazingly delicious. This year I have been really wanting but I don't know if I should. My health says no my mind says test it out and my mouth says it's a great excuse to break the fast with an epic splurge. I don't even know what I would splurge on. I haven't craved splurges in forever. ANyways I think I am going to listen to my mind but I need pointers for a good splurge?
By the way for those who are in Utah if anyone wants to go to the zoo, boondocks or on some amazing hike, I am craving all of those at the moment so let me know if your down.
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Planet W.

Before you begin reading this amazing blog you have to go to theplanetw.com! watch the little movies and check out the acknowledgements under about the creator and you will understand this blog a little more (plus it will be fun).
I grew up with one amazing family! In my huge amazing family are a set of cousins. I believe I have written about my other family a few times and how Marlene is my second mother. Well she has brothers and a sister. All a little crazy in there own way which is why I love them oh so much. Today I shall tell you a little bit about Joe, one of the brothers, a crazy fun loving cousin and since I am the third child of Marlene he is also my uncle.He never acted any differently than an uncle so that is what he is. Almost every shabbat dinner at the Sassoon house we would hear stories from Joe about Peat Neat and Planet W! I have probably heard it a million times and eventually he created a website for it where you could see chapters of the story. needless to say when this occurred you bet I was on the computer daily on that site. this was of course years ago. from time to time I still go to the site to play a few games and to refresh my memory of this great story.
Today I got a little message saying there was a new chapter in the story. So of course I had to refresh my memory watch the chapters one at a time and then the new chapter which was epic. Loved it!
I usually go back to the site on days like this. It has been a rough day physically. I woke up later than usual which is great but I woke up feeling sick and like it is a day where the air is a little polluted. Honestly I don't really care because I got to go to Planet W today :)! The day isn't over but don't really think anything else is going to occur today other than a possible trip to the mall or costco or both depending. anyways I should continue school work.
I shall let you know if anything exciting occurs today. "do you want dun dun!"
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

much needed visit from Alysha!

Today was one of those down right messed up days. It started off with a horrible run where I tripped and banged up my right side. No joke, my entire right side! Mainly hand ad knee of course. When that occurred I continued running thinking I was ok not knowing how banged up I was until about 5 minutes later when I felt light headed and saw blood seeping through my pants. So I walked the rest of the way (kind of). After that may day didn't get any better. I went to beans and brew to do homework, study and call some places for work. With homework, kinesiology is kickin my butt! Fyi Lisa you are a life saver thank you oh so very much for the help! I spent all day trying to figure it out but that stuff just takes time for me to understand. While calling people up all I got were more nos. I am so sick of this. I am beginning to think I just suck at interviews or just suck in general. This job searching things tends to bring my morale down. On a good note I am at some free concert with alysha who came down to Slc with her friends. So far fun time here. A lot has changed for the both of us since we last hung out.
Ok do it wasn't that terrible but I just can't take not working and being rejected so much.
Till next time
Nicoly!
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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

the aquarium and diet changes (possibly)

Today was oh so much fun. I did homework, then went to Corner Bakery with Mckenzie! First time going and I loved it! i gotta go there more often. After the fact we went to the living planet aquarium. that place is sooo tiny but it was oh so much fun. the was pretty much it for the day other than the weekly ab lab and zumba (always puts a smile on my face even when i get crappy news before hand.
What is this crappy news you speak of well... apparently I didn't get the Job. I know it shouldn't be a big deal but I can't keep on looking for work. I really am just tempted to give up on this whole idea that I can get a simple job. WTF?
Anywho... I really am writing this blog because I wanted to tell you what I learned today while studying and doing school work. It's more stuff I already know and that I have been working on but this has emphasized it even more. are you ready for this.... according to my classes and the way my body reacts to food I need to go lactose, gluten, soy and egg free. The egg thing I can do to some extent, everything is made lactose free now a days and gluten might be a little difficult but I can handle that and honestly I am such a soy hater that i won't even have to worry about that. the most difficult part of it all is bringing that all together. I love all kinds of foods that have at least one of those things in it. Usually as well when you make a healthy alternative that has substitutes it's only substitutes for one item. take pancakes for instance: there are eggless pancakes, wheatless pancakes, and usually it is easy to get rid of lactose out of pancakes. but have you ever seen a gluten, soy, lactose, egg free pancake? I am experimenting with somethings that come out yummy but it doesn't really end up being a pancake. it becomes more like gooey dough. I will figure it out! the weird thing is that I have so many items in my fridge that have eggs, gluten and/or lactose so I am trying to get rid of it all before I go shopping for more food (yes I am that person). I needed to get rid of everything with eggs cause that isn't helping me at all but with lactose and gluten items they don't harm me as much so if I just eat them in moderation and slowly get rid of it I shall be set. FYI the one thing that makes me happy is that spelt is technically not gluten!!! which means I still get to have the yummiest bread in all of Utah. Now I just need to find a gluten, eggless challah or try to make one. Exploring new foods is oh so much fun! I will let you know about my food endeavors.
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

bom bom!!!

Today I spent studying and doing homework at Beans and Brew, where the coffee is amazingly yummy the tables are comfy and oddly enough didn't feel awkward with all my stuff there. As I was studying Human Anatomy A song came on. A specific song that I never remember then name of but the song will be imbedded in my mind till the end of time. I have a few names for it, the wake up call, the drum song, and the lincoln song (which I don't know if I can call it that since its in my car now)are just a few of the names. It's this song on this random CD that my daddy has had since forever and I haven't heard it in forever which is odd because it is in my car. I couldn't help but smile and laugh and I think the guy sitting by me thought I was going crazy actually I am almost certain of it since he gave me that WTF look, stood up slowly and walked away. honestly do miss the family every time I come back to Utah. the rest of the day wasn't that exciting actually from 9:30 t9ll 5:15 I was doing homework at beans and brew. after that I went to treehouse. I have come to the realization that treehouse has the same people they did last year.all the people leave for the year probably to go to a place where there isn't so much snow then come back to good ol' Draper. It's kind of cool seeing people from last year and watching the reactions they have when they recognize me. Fyi the rain made for some hot cocoa so I took my chocolate flavored protein powder added no more thhttp://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=2680263413059320538an 1/2 a tablespoon of pero for a little added something, truvia, and hot water of course. it was actually a lot tastier than I expected. Sorry my life isn't that exciting but hopefully that will change soon
Till Next Time
Nicoly!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

last nights movie and today at Kol Ami

Alright So last night I have been wanting to write a blog that was supposed to be all intense and it was supposed to be about how art imitates life or vice versa. I went to the movies and saw Friends with Benefits with Brad. First thing you need to know is that it was actually hilarious! I laughed so hard through out the entire movie. second off the entire movie brought me back to things that occurred in the past or things that just I really don't like thinking about. The issue now is that I think due to lack of sleep and the fact that I was to happy in services today that I forgot half the stuff that I was thinking about. I can give you the cliff notes version: I can tell you that in the previews I thought about Israel. I don't remember what brought it up but it didn't sit well. basically I thought about getting back in contact with people that I have lost contact with. then when the movie started a bunch of memories came up just the mountains reminded me of hiking and cowles mountain, New York reminds me of when I went to NY with Bekka and can I say as much as I love bekka and love the fact that we got to go to Disneyworld after the fact and I did love New York and being with Bekka in New York but it was a weird trip with some drama and seeing New York in the movie just reminded me of how glad I am to be a west coaster. and there is more to it but I don't want to give anything away about the movie.
Anywho.... Today was great I was productive with homework, and before that I went to services at Kol Ami. I love Kol Ami and I still think it is amazing that I met someone related to the franks. And I get to Usher in a couple of weeks which really isn't a big deal it's just giving out siddurs (prayer books) but for some reason I am so stocked. To top it off I really am thinking about becoming a member and maybe even a board member but I don't even know what to do as a board member. I guess I am just gonna have to ask someone about it.
I don't know if there is much else I can tell you that I remember other than the fact that I got no sleep last night, my apartment is a mess because I am to lazy to clean it up, and I am really excited to say that I added back caffeine to my diet. not an excessive amount (a cup a day) it just feels good not to feel sick after drinking caffeine. anyways gonna do some more school work and turn on the A/C because I cannot take the heat.

Till Next Time
Nicoly!