Continuously losing myself and finding out who I am today is something that I have learned has taken place multiple times and will happen time and time again.
I use my job, my religious and spiritual experiences and just life to find myself.
This is about sharing my experiences and my lessons for myself in truth to continue to write and remember that when in a time of loss and confusion there is always a way back to the answer.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
First full day back in sd! I went to the dr. got an appointment with this surgeon. Who said its no big deal so I can wait a week. Of course it was probably cause the guy still thinks I'm pregnant. Ya get this. My mom left the room and first thing he asks is are you sure your not pregnant. Well the answer is no absolutely not. For some reason he kept on asking. Little education for everyone... To be able to get pregnant you need to be sexually active with a guy. So I have no chance whatsoever of being pregnant. The guy was an idiot. Finally got the ultrasound results to him and it showed gallstones what a shocker. The guy still had to go on about me being pregnant. It was a little ridiculous not the greatest doctors appointment I have ever had. So now I have at least a week of pain to deal with. I honestly would have prefered staying in utah and feeling in pain there. On a good note I had lunch with dahlia bekka and my mommy. It was really nice! Lets talk about the mother. I dont wsnt to go shopping with you for one big reason I dont like shopping with you. I know I am sounding a little harsh but this is the thing recently you have wanted me to change even more than usual and I know why it is and I told myself I am ready to take this bs from you but I am not I have written this in an earlier blog and I dont think you got the message. I dont like shopping! I hate forever twenty onr and all the crap that you wear so dont try to get me to wear it. So I going to go shopping on my terms and if we do spend time together just stop and think to yourself why would my daughter regret this time we have and how can I stop myself from getting to that point. Honestly I am done being the person who understands and not the person that is understood. I dont know if you got this or not but being home instead of in utah where I should be is not really working out. Luckily I have a best friend who is amazing. With her now venting about everything. Tonight we are doing dinner and hookah.