Friday, December 31, 2010

The past few days and the new year.

I know its been a couple days since I have blogged or wrote a status on facebook book. Sorry about that. Here is what you missed in those days.
First day we didnt go snowboarding. There was a blizzard here in mammoth so a couple of newbies on the slope not the smartest choice. Instead we had a snowball fight which was fun. I ate it pretty bad afterwards. Flaceplanted right into the snow. Lucky it was nice and fluffy so no sa no damage done.
Second day you missed was a snowboard day. It was the perfect snowboard day! Matt and myself (the two newbies in the group) got lessons. It was really fun. The instructor was this total surfer dude from cali who was having way to much fun teaching the class. you know those mini lifts on the bunny slope that you have to hold on to. Well its a lot harder to hold on to those things than I thought it would be. Lets just say I gave the instructor something to laugh about. snowboarding was fun. I learned a lot.
Now to today. I am at the lodge right now after my first attempt at snowboarding. It wasn't the greatest experience of my life. I attempted to turn down to a different slope, started going to fast fell tumbled a few times and twisted my knee. Welcome to my life, everything leads to pain in the knees. Overall it wasn't that bad I just need more practice. Right now I am nursing the knee which means I have to wait till my next time to snowboard.
We are leaving thw lodge soon about to go back to the house and celebrate the new year. So happy new year to all!! next blog you will get will be next year.

Till next time

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

First full day in mammoth

My first day in mammoth was interesting. I spent the first half going to vons which was actually really fun. It was just bekka and myself which is always nice. After that we went snowboarding. Now keep in mind a few things: one is that this was my first time snowboarding. Second is that my core strength hasn't been up to par since I got my gallbladder removed and honestly as strong as I was getting I still wasnt that great. Third which for those of you who have been reading my blog know this, my knees are well a little sensitive. So to tell you about my snowboarding experience.... We were on the bunny slope the entire time. Bekka was trying to teach me the basics. Considering the fact that I cant even buckle myself into the board I knew it would be interesting. After finally getting set and pulled up to a standing position I attempted to snowboard. I can say this I know how to speed up and how to fall on my rear end. I can't get the stopping down and after trying and getting frustrated I nearly took the board and tossed it but I didn't because I didn't feel like taking of my gloves to unbuckle then buckle up again after the fact.
Anywho after a while my knees started to hurt and they actually still do so I decided to end my time a little early while everyone else went on a real slope. We left soon after and now are at dinner. I will tell you this if I could snowboard it might actually be fun.
I dont really know whats going on tonight maybe a movie or something I will let you know.

Till next time
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Sunday, December 26, 2010

At a wedding!

So today was filled with packing for mammoth which I did a terrible Job at. I hope I survive the next week with what I brought. I am also at a wedding. Reut and Eli's wedding! Its fun, crazy and weird. I havent seen some of the people that are here in ages. It's nice to know that they wouldnt recognize me if my mom didnt point me out. you know how I was telling you about me trying to find something to wear for this thing... Well I found a dress. Ya thats right, at the moment I am wearing a dress. I will post up pics I promise that. it is a rare situation, I couldnt find amything better. I really need alcohol to enjoy myself at something like this. Unfortunately I am staying clean. No cheating!
I am leaving after this. Hopefully seeing michael who I havent seen in forever. I cant wait.
Fyi I totally am stocked for tomorrow. I get to see two people in my life that always put a smile onm y face and then I am going to mammoth with bekka and her family. I will try to blog from there,
Till next time

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas and black swan

First and most importantly.... MERRY CHRISTMAS to my non jewish friends out there. I really do love christmas. there is something about it (christmas spirit or whatever you want to call it) that just makes everything ok. All of this is coming from the jewish girl who doesn't even celebrate christmas but it is nice to be out in the world where for one day just about everyone is happy.
Second... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my little brother he is 17 today. Ya thats right I have a christmas brother. He was born 17 years ago on christmas in Las Vegas while my older brother got lost at circus circus. I got him Assassin's creed brotherhood. I am so excited to play it. I am trying to wait till he plays it so it doesn't completely look like a bought for myself because I really didn't. it was mostly for him. I just might enjoy it a little more than he will.
Thirdly what did I do today? I ran grossmont center walked up del cerro and then went to the wertheim's for a nice lunch. it was nice to see people I haven't seen in a while.
After that I went with Jackie and Jessica to see Black Swan. Can I just say that is one trippy movie! Natalie Portman is an amazing actress. She is a great example of a smart talented Jewish Israeli who just blew my mind in this movie I don't even know how to explain. To attempt an explanation: it is basically this ballet dancer who obsesses about being perfect to the extent of going crazy. There is a whole lot more to it like the hallucinations she has which are rather vivid and way to realistic. Right now I am still trying to get some of the images out of my head but for some reason I think it's going to take a while. luckily after a movie like this Disney always pays off with something innocent so I can put something less intense into my mind.
lately I have been way to tired and thats probably because I haven't had enough sleep so I think I am going to do that right now. GOOD Night

Till Next time

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Tired and ready for utah

Nothing epic occurred today. I was mostly at home. I definitley am ready to be in utah. I actually have pictured what my days would be like if I were back in utah. Wake up fo to the gym for a couple hours, go to classes that I actually enjoy, then spend my spare time in salt lake or even just by that dollar theater. I know its kind of lame but it gives me a reason to keep eating clean and not epicly relapsing by scarfing down the delicious chocolate chip pizza cookie my grandma made for my little brothers birthday. knowing that I will be in utah soon with friends and just in a place where I can start to do things on my own sounds awesome. Anywho gotta do my last workout of the day and from there I really dont know whats going on. So..
Till next time
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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

this darn weather!

For those of you who don't watch the news you should know that the weather here in southern California has been pretty terrible. If you ask me the gray dull rain is a whole lot worse than the white fluffy snow in Utah. Just saying atleast there was some sunlight when it snowed. the rain has been ruining my workouts. Not that I am not working out. I do my regular bootcamp style workouts in the morning and at night and then instead of going for a run or walk outside I have been doing stairs and a whole lot of plyometric workouts thanks to P90X I have also added a small fun workout with wii fit. but honestly I kind of miss being outside. It was a rather nice workout walking to gamestop or the spa. hopefully this rain cools down for at least a day.
Considering my lack of a car and the rain I haven't been out to much. luckily I had my brother go with me to get some clothes for mammoth and then we went to grandma for dinner which was rather fun. I got to see my cousins. I really do love telling people about my life at real life. As annoying as it gets with the friends that my mother has it never gets old with family I love. While at grossmont after buying some boots I had to sneak into Barnes and Noble to get the last Diary of a Wimpy kid (I just had to). So now I really have to just finish reading the Percy Jackson book which is also great that is an excellent book but I am really looking forward to Diary of a Wimpy kid. I know I have a thing for kids books but what can I say I am a kid at heart always and forever.

Till next time

Monday, December 20, 2010

Starting up everything in Jan.

A rather unproductive day today but still good. all I did today was go to costco. but it was rather theraputic.
Why am I putting up a blog if I have done pretty much nothing? I finally figured out the perfect plan for how I am going to go to Utah for my two weeks and then to Sonoma for a little bit and then back home and then back to Utah. and I have found so many perfect apartments. I have been doing my research on where I would want to live when I am in Utah and no matter what sugarhouse pops up as the best place for me. Why you ask? well for a few reasons 1. and probably the most important to me is the fact that i will be close to the only synagogue in the salt lake area. 2. is right next to that is the dollar movie theater and for some reason I have a love for that place. 3. is cause it's close to school but not so close I feel like I am living at school. and 4. last but certainly not least is that it is cheap. So I have found a couple places in sugarhouse I just need to go check them out and make sure I am not being tricked into living in some sketchy apt. with a terrible landlord and annoying neighbors or something like that. which brings me to my next point.
I have my two weeks at real life left. My plan and I have to apologize to the people coming back in February for this. I plan on coming back in Jan. of course this isn't official yet considering that RLFH is officially closed till the beginning of January.
Now for going to Nor-Cal (and I am truly hoping that some of my friends up there read this because it would make things a whole lot easier). I need to ask you all a question. Whats going on the last week of Jan? or the first week of Feb.? that is when I am hoping to come up but considering that this is the last semester for most of you I figured you might be to busy for a friend you probably all forgot about already.
Anywho after Nor-Cal I am coming home to celebrate my Bday with the family. I really don't know how I am going to top off last year. going to Lips was an experience I will never forget (if you have to ask what lips is you really don't want to know).
Lastly (hopefully mid February I will officially move to Utah. I am so stocked for that one. Finally my life will have a kick start. FYI inbetween all of this I do plan on taking a trip to St. George for some reason. and before that I promise to read the last Diary of a Wimpy Kid.
I do have plans for tonight though! a trip to the movie theater with my little brother to see TRON LEGACY 3D!!!! I have to get ready for that so...

Till Next Time

Sunday, December 19, 2010

a ruined puzzle to watching a great movie.

Today was just not my day! why? well cause I woke up like always went downstairs turn on the lights and saw that someone had brought back to the table and I thought well thats awesome. As I got my snack out and sat down next to the puzzle I realized there was a huge chunk of the puzzle missing! Usually whent that occurs its usually just a few pieces that are right next to the spot they belong to not a whole chunck of the puzzle and I have no idea where the pieces went. I was really trying to be ok with it. I did everything I even whipped out the Self-esteem companion book but nothing worked. I spent 3 hours trying to figure out what to do after the book didn't help and I did the unthinkable. I took apart the puzzle! now keep in mind I will bring it to Utah with me so I can do the puzzle there and I honestly just couldn't look at it anymore. I know some of you don't really get why this is such a big deal to me but it is and I don't even know why its a big deal to me. For some reason it is and it is still bumming me out. I haven't had to completely destroy a puzzle in a while and I don't like it.
anywho after that I just wasn't motivated to do anything. I did get a workout in and I had a failed attempt at a healthy mole sauce but really did nothing till 1:00. hats when I went to Fashion Valley where there were to many people shopping for to many things. on a good note for the day I may have found something I can wear to the wedding I would show you all but I am still not sure it is gonna happen and plus it would be awesome if it was a surprise for people. of course knowing my mother She probably has already sent the picture of it to everyone. I really hope not!
FYI the one thing slightly cheering me up at the moment is the first CG animated movie length film ever. TOY STORY!!!!!!! Pixar's start to fame. so to quote this amazing film
"This isn't flying. This is falling with style." I love disney Pixar!

Till next time

Saturday, December 18, 2010

working out with people I love and still missing Utah.

Today was rather productive and fun! I woke up and did my usual routine till about 9:00 when I got ready for a nice trip to my brother's apartment. He wanted to workout with me. Fyi he as the most fantastic apt. gym ever. I can spend hours just explaining the treadmills they have set up with a t.v. on each one. and then they have bosu balls, weights, punching bags, and a bunch of machines that just make me happy. I didn't use much of them but that was because I was just thrilled that there was a bosu ball and stability ball that is fit for my new found tinyness. For the real exciting factor of my time at that awesome little gym was the run I had on the tread. I am back to my 1.5 miles in 19 minutes. Considering that for the military 1.5 miles needs to be done in under 11 minutes and 30 seconds I know I got a long way to go but I am back to where I was before all my gallbladder b.s. so I am stocked now I can start getting better than I was before and hopefully get to that 11:30 time. after a fabulous workout with my wonderful older brother I ate my delicious baked turnip fries. Ya thats right I said turnip fries. Highly recommend attempting that it is oh so yummy. I also may have found the perfect apartment in Utah. In sugarhouse which for some reason is where I want to be.
I got this lovely phone call from Jackie! She is who my sister should be if I ever had a little sister. I lover her to death. after a fun phone call we went to lake murray and had a rather entertaining and insightful walk.
Now I am waiting for a christmas dinner my mom is having. Yes the Jewish Israeli mother is having a christmas dinner. It's for everyone who works at her spa and it is really just an excuse to have them over for dinner. luckily I actually enjoy most of there company so I really am looking forward to it.
Alright as great as today was compared to every other day here I am still having Utah withdrawals. How do I know I am having Utah withdrawals?? Well first off OMG by Usher came on the radio this morning and I started doing zumba which FYI Brenna hasn't even had the song in zumba in the longest time so I don't even know how I remembered that dance. Second reasoning is the fact that I have noticed every Honda CR-V and every fit there is in San Diego. FYI there wasn't a fit in sight at all a few months ago and now everyone has one. third reason is that I am trying to figure out ways to make up words like tinyness just for a tiny little giggle. to top it all off I have said "you can do anything in 30 seconds" like 10 times today and "your awesome" about 50 times. this is becoming an awesome yet terrible problem to have. I smile every ten seconds knowing I will be back yet I also know it won't be for at least another few weeks till that happens. and texting Jen one of my all time favorite Utahns is not helping
Tonights dinner is in ten minutes so I am going to get ready before I continue on about Utah so...

Till next time

Friday, December 17, 2010

Running with good pain

Alright today I ran the stairs 20 time and ran around del cerro. It was amazing. It felt great to have that pain in my knees that I havent had in a while. Why did it feel great. Simply the fact that it was that I worked my body so hard that I hurt pain instead of I have gallstones in my gallbladder pain. For the first time in a while it felt so great to hurt. After a great workout I went to roadrunner and got some running shoes. Just in time for a weekend of rain. I also brought out a cd that brenna gave me and had to do some zumba. I know its weird doing zumba on my own at home but it was only for a minute and plus I miss Utah. I needed to bring myself back there just for a moment.
While taking a break from working out I worked on applications and finding Apartments. I found a lot place by the! Each and everyday I get closer to moving to Utah!!

Till next time
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Upgrading my workouts and Orientation

Ok so every morning I still wake up at 4 so I can work out. I know what you all are thinking (WTF). It keeps me going so thats what I am going to do. anyways each day I try to add more to what I do and make it a little more difficult so not only do I get back to where I was before the surgery but I will get even farther than that. Today is an upper body work out day. The big issue I have been having is my push ups and the fact that I haven't been able to use weights. this morning I got to 5 push ups on my toes, 15 knee push ups and I totally snuck into Danny's room and took his weights (sorry Danny). I couldn't use a lot of weight but it still felt great to add the weights. hopefully by the end of the week I will be at a point where I can surpass my strongest point.
After a good workout, reading a new book that Justine gave me (thanks by the way), and cooking up some yumminess I went to pick up Dina Maman who hasn't seen me since the last time I came home so needless to say she was a little stunned.
This afternoon I did the online orientation. I got all my info down, bought all my books and now all I have to worry about is remembering to get online January 3rd to start off the quarter. I am so stocked. I really want to explain what I am feeling about this feeling of excitement to you. It's not even excitement. It's more of the fact that I know that this is the right path. I know I want this for myself.
I hung out with Jon today. We checked out some PCs online then went to see Love and Other Drugs. It was a great movie! I don't want to give anything away but at the end there is this quote that really relates to how I feel about Utah and going to school there. FYI Anne Hathaway is amazing!

Till Next Time

Monday, December 13, 2010

Shopping, hangin out with orit and a movie.

Today was fun. It started out with grossmont center trying to find something for the wedding. That was an epic fail. Instead I got a barnes and nobles membership so worth. I also got a couple books. After that I went to the spa to sell a necklace to justine. I realized I needed to refresh my math when I couldn't remember how to calculate the tax.
I also went to orit's today. I met ellie her babt girl who is cute. We talked for nearly three hours. After that I saw narnia with be bekka. Worth seeing in 3D fyi.
Don't really have much to say about today. I have a lot of phone calls to make tomorrow so if I dont write about them warn me so I do call people.

Till next time
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Sunday, December 12, 2010

workout goals.

Alright a few cool things about today:
First is all my bandages and all the tape is officially off. now all that is on my tummy is a few scars from a fun surgery. Second is I ran stairs today! ten times to be exact which means my stamina is really getting back. Third and final thing is that I might go up north earlier than expected and get my car earlier than expected. I will explain what that means later on in life when I really know whats going on.
Now for the actual day. I just went shopping today. I went to Sears, Target and then Trader Joe's with the madre. and Let me tell you unless it's for some video games, books or food I really hate shopping. I actually got a lot of great stuff but I can't survive more than twenty minutes shopping. it drives me nuts. Sadly I still have to find something for the wedding so I still need to go shopping again at a point. In between stores we at at Bj's. I love Bj's and I think I did pretty well food wise. the big shocker for the day is that I bumped into Orit. long time no see by they way. it was two seconds of awkwardness considering everything but it was oddly fun considering the texts afterwards.
let's talk workouts shall we. everything has been going great. I have been getting my run back on and even am able to do planks for more than a minute. but there is just one issue one epic thing that is just killing me inside. My push-ups are taking a little slower to recover. I can barely do one push-up. I know it will get there I do but I was at a good 25-30 push-ups on my toes and now I am at 10 on my knees and 1 on my toes. luckily everytime I wanna give up Jen's voice is in my mind. I would say tomorrow I will get to two push-ups but it's a core day so it will have to wait a couple days. so my goal for tomorrow is a two minute plank, a 30 second side plank considering that I haven't been able to do that, and a 5 mile walk. that may not be a lot to most from real life anymore but at this point that will be an excellent accomplishment.

Till Next Time

Saturday, December 11, 2010

decisions made.

I honestly wasn't going to do a blog today but I figured there are a few things I have to tell you.
First of how my day started was fantastical! I started running again! It's slow pace and I can only do a couple blocks at a time but I did an hour long walk/run today and it just felt amazing to feel the wind blowing just cause I was going a little faster than usual. After that I went to OPH to visit Bekka at work which is nothing special really. the next special moment of the morning is when I got home. I weighed myself when I got back. I am now 148.4 lbs which means that I have hit over 90 lbs of weightloss! 90.3 lbs gone, hopefully never to be seen again. That is my excitement for the day.
Now for what the title of this blog is about... well first decision I should tell you the answer to is whether or not I am going to do this internship. honestly I kind of knew the answer and thanks to some great people in Utah giving me advice it just made it more obvious. I am not going to do it. reasoning to it is rather simple. I don't have the 20 weeks to give this guy and I don't want to pretend like I am going to give him 100% when I want to take the time to visit friends go back to Utah for a couple weeks and then actually go to school after that.
Second decision was which certification I wanted to go for. right now after everyone was pretty much said the same thing, NASM is my top pick. ACE is a very close second. I still have sometime before I actually go for my certification so I am not going to say I am 100% doing NASM.
I also need to tell you all about my plans for the next few months. I think you all are going to want to know this. December really is a birthday, a wedding, and a trip to Mammoth. I am going to learn how to snow board, I am coming prepared for Utah snow so when I go snowboarding with friends there will only be a slight laughter to my skills. I am coming back January 1st enough time to get ready for school! I start online classes on the third. The ninth is my grandfathers unveiling so I will be with the family the 21st is the 1 year anniversary of his death so I figured I want to be here for both of those. but right after that I want to go back to real life. i do have time left with them and I am truly missing everyone so I have a phone call to make. after those two weeks I am going to Nor-Cal! I also miss my RO-PO peeps so sometime between coming back from Utah and going back to Utah I will be in Nor-Cal for a few days after that it is straight to Utah for good! I can't wait for that day. this is going to be a crazy yet productive few months and year.
I still say I think way to much considering that all of this popped into my head in a little 30 minute drive from OPH.

Till Next Time

Thursday, December 9, 2010

decision making time!

So I really wanted to write a blog today even though there is really almost nothing to say about today, but there is a reason for it. I went to the doctor for a post-op check up. I really believe it was just an excuse for the idiot doctor to attempt to speak hebrew to my mother.
now for the reason I want to write this blog.. I need your help once again. everyone gave great advice about what certification to choose so I figured I would use you all once again to help me out. So remember a couple of blogs ago I talked about an internship? well if not I got an internship at this gym that is opening up the beginning of January. here is he dilemma. the guy that owns the place, Garen wants me to gaurantee 20 weeks with him. 1. I have to be in Utah by April 1st because thats when the second quarter of school starts and that is only 12 weeks away from when Garen is opening up his gym. 2. I really need to do an epic road trip that will take me atleast a week. first I have to go to Utah to get my car. I don't really need it now but I do need to move all my stuff to Utah. after that I have to go to Northern California, Rohnert Park. I miss a few of my friends up there so I have to go up there for atleast a weekend. for the third thing and I really do want to do this before I start my second quarter or even during. I still have some real life time to do that I didn't get to finish. Fourth and final thing and to me the most important thing is I need to have my Disneyland days, those days when Bekka and I have nothing to do so we decide to drive up to Disneyland and spend all day till closing at the Happiest place on earth.
Now for the reasons I should do the internship... For one thing, I get an hour of a great workout led by a great trainer. Second is the fact that it will be a great kick start to my journey. the third thing is the fact that if I decide to come back to San Diego after school this could be a door wide open for me. fourth and final is the fact that it will look really good on my resume.
I know what I want to do but I don't know which one is right. so confizzled! Life would be a whole lot easier if I just married a rich jewish man and had no care in the world. Unfortunetely g-d created one crazy girl who really would never ever want to be that kind of person.

Till Next Time

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

most of my mom's friends and then Gila

Nothing really epically special occurred today. I worked out, went to costco spend the day with my mother (fyi I really need some friends to hang out with), went to CPK with her and marshalls and went to Starbucks with her and met up with Gila.
Let me tell you about Gila, a New Yorken Jew who now lives in La Jolla. She is my moms friend which is a shocker to me cause I actually Kind of think she's cool. she is definitely a lot more chill than most of my mom's friends and isn't as superficial. She also knows how to think before speaking and how to get to know someone without worrying about there appearance so she definitely is a few steps ahead of most of my mom's friends.
Before I continue on and tell you what we talked about let me tell you about everyone else. coming home hasn't exactly been my favorite thing. honestly I enjoy Utah way to much to enjoy being here. What has made it kind of worse is some of the reactions that I get from people. Don't get me wrong it's flattering and awesome to see the shock especially when it's from people I actually care about. The issue is the questions and remarks that I get. to give you an example: someone came up and asked "don't you look back and just hate yourself for being that." ya I kid you not someone asked me this. now to answer the question honestly, HELL NO you idiot. I was one happy fat kid and I don't regret where I was back then. also here is what you need to know I am not changing me. for those of you who think I am get a clue and there is a reason why I tell my mom no thank you when she asks me to come to dinner at your house. now here is what you need yes I am wearing a new bracelet now no it is not because I can now. news flash fat people can wear jewelery. I am just more open now and plus the symbolism on the stuff is actually really cool. to top that off I still don't like the gross I wanna be 20 again but never will kind of clothes no offense to any of you but that will never change.
Now back to Gila. At Starbucks today I got a great reaction from her. the typical mouth dropping OMG look and then a huge smile and laugh. That is all I truly need. Of course I tend to talk to Gila like a normal human being since she does have a brain and plus she is one of the only people I can walk and talk with for hours that lives in La Jolla. So the first we get talking about is how I haven't really changed. THANK G-D!!! thats all I needed to hear. I never wanted to change. Ya I like feeling healthy it is something I am still getting used to but it's nice. I just never wanted to change myself. I have added more to who I am, I have become more open but I am still me. Thanks Gila for the great talk!
Fyi random but sad note. I might have to extend my SD stay till the beginning of April! which is making this all the more better. hopefully I get to spend time with Gila more she might make the others a little easier to deal with.
Hookah tonight with Bekka then sleep!

Till Next Time

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

the good the bad and just the down right WTF?

Today was filled with good news, bad news and just al around confusion. let me explain...
I first went to my mom's spa. I was there for a few hours. I helped fold towels, chatted with people and ate at D.Z. Akins. nothing like a good sandwich from DZ. anyways on my way to the spa I got this insane text telling me that Jen didn't work at real life anymore. WTF MATES!!!! alright I know I should be all come and cool and try to understand especially since they have grown a reputation in getting rid of there best people so why should it be such a shocker. but it is honestly not the fact that it's a shock thats getting to me. the more I think about the more I question how anyone will do with out Jen. I mean honestly who hasn't gotten atleast one lecture from Jen that hasn't motivated them to keep it up at real life. so then I think about how am I going to do when I go back. I know I am only there for two weeks and that I still have Kimber and Shanna and honestly they are equally as awesome as Jen. but there won't be mama Jen there rooting me on. I mean lets be honest even though most of my accomplishments were done by me and me alone I wouldn't have done them if Jen wasn't there. I have been waiting to right this blog to let everything out and burst into crazyness like I usually do when I am in a bummed out mood or get bad news but for some reason I can't. all I can think about is now I am going to have to do it with out her there and that is just going to make me stronger. however I don't know if anyone else can survive. especially Kimber. this is Just so confusing and heart breaking and it really should not be this weird. I guess I am just Sad that Jen's gone. I kind of want to go back to Utah now to figure out whats going on in my mind and to see if Jen's doing alright.
alright enough with the bummer of the day. for the good part of the day. I talked to Garen today. who is Garen you are wondering. well he is a trainer who is opening up a gum close by. I got an internship with him! ya thats right. the first few months of 2011 I got an internship! after that I have to move to Utah. I am stocked it will basically be a few hours a day learning how to train others. He did talk about certifications and which one I should choose and he had a point I do need to start thinking about which one I want. I really have no idea which one to choose so if anyone has any advice I could use some right about now. I am looking all of them up so hit me with anything you got.
For the truly confusing part of my day well some of it included the fact that I don't know how to react to Jen being gone and the other part is stuff I can't really talk about on my blog. so oh so sorry about that.
considering there is still a couple hours to the day I will tell you this I know I am going to try to work out a little bit tonight. since tonight is supposed to be a core day I really do have to be careful. so it will be one light work out. the pain is slowly going away so hopefully the doctor this week will tell me I can up my workouts if not then I guess I will stick to the diet. luckily I made a yummy home made protein bar today. so excited to have some of it tomorrow.

Till Next Time

Monday, December 6, 2010

protein bar, skype and a beautiful baby girl

So much on my mind today. One is I went on a very nice walk. About half way through I felt like passing out. On a good note it was way longer than yesterdays walk and this morning I added a few squats. Just a few don't worry I didn't over do
Ever since the surgery my relationship with food has taken a turn for the worse. I haven't cheated or anything. A small addiction issue today. I couldn't figure out what I wanted for lunch and had a small little anxiety attack about it. Nothing to epic I got myself out of it pretty quickly. I made a home made protein bar for tomorrow to keep me from freaking out. cooking really comes me down some how. now the most important part of my day was meeting the new shachar. the cutest baby girl ever. she is in the nicu. not anything epic thankgoodness. she just need to be in there for a few days do to a small virus. have you ever been in the nicu. it really gets you thinking. you see these amazing gifts these joys that will possibly be taken away from there families it is so not cool. then again now a days due to modern medicine babies come out healthy in no time. anyways I truly hope that all goes well in that room for all the families in that room. I am about to go to hopefully the last channukah dinner. it is with the grandma so it will be fantastic.
fyi while all of this was going on I was texting my new awesome friend sara. another sara from florida who I know due to real life fantastic!! oh and I got skype now so if you got skype let me know I will try to find you or you can find me.
today was great I am in a fantastic mood and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Till next time

Sunday, December 5, 2010


Two days after surgery and I am about to go crazy. The only workout I can do without passing out is a walk to windmill farms. I really don't like it. I really need to figure out how to do more. To top it off holidays arw never good for sticking to the plan. Its not that I Have cheated or plan on cheating but I am starting to get sick of being put into situations Where I have to make a choice. Tonight is another channukah dinner. This time its with the del cerro crew. A fun bunch that I grew up with but it is cut short due to kids in school.
I really enjoy being around them but not working out that much really does make a huge difference on my mood. I am hoping tomorrow I will add on a longer walk or something cause I don't know if I can last long without a good workout.
Tonight after dinnet I am going to the living room with bekka.Hopefully that will take the edge off. For now I got to put on a happy face even though the pain meds are wearing out, I am having workout withdrawels and utah withdrawels, and I really am just ready to get out of here. Thank goodness its the del cerro crew I don't think I would be able to survive this dinner if it was anyone else. Desserts coming out so I got to go watch people eat.

Till next time
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Saturday, December 4, 2010

The day after.

A great successful surgery led me to get home this morning at around 11:00 which was great. The doc came in said everything was great got me a prescription which I haven't even taken yet. The pain goes away with a little tylenol. I was told I can walk around but no actual working out allowed for the next couple weeks :(. I guess I should listen to thw doctor but I don't know, it's just so tempting to whip out my pull up bar right now. Just kidding! To be honest it hurts to even laugh so I think I will listen to the doc.
Right now I am at k1 speedway (go cart racing). No I am not racing just celebrating monte and josh's birthday. I promise I am taking it easy. I got camera duty. Plus we are leaving soon. Going to benihana then home to sleep.
By the way I love all the support I am getting. It makes the healing process that much better so thank you.

Till next time
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Thursday, December 2, 2010


Today was nothing special really. The actually today nearly sucked. After lunch I dont know what happened if I am mervous for tomorrow or what but my tummy took a turn for the worst. Still feeling a little queezy but a whole lot better.
What made my day not so bad was a phone call with a possible real life newbie coming in jan. First off she is a fellow jew so another jew in utah!!!! Second off she Seems nice. She has got that whole I am scared to death thing going on but who doesn't before they come to the program. Third thing is this I kind of want to know how things go with her at real life so let me know. She seems pretty determined to get to her goal so I truly hope she does.
Tonight is another channukah dinner this time at the shachars. It was a last minute thing so I didn't really get to prepare. Luckily i ate dinner already and am stuffed so I really wont want to eat.
Tomorrow is the big day by the way. Having surgery tomorrow. It is jusr my gallbladder but I have waited oh so long I feel like its a heart transplant or something serious. I know I'm lame for that but its just whats in my head. I will keep you posted.

Till next time
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Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Before I get to this festive holiday let me tell you about my day. First thing I got to tell you is about my workout. I wake up everymorning now and do a mini bootcamp and then atleast a couple miles walking during the day and a pt at night. Today is a core day. I found one of Michele's workouts. The one thats on the floor the entire time doing crunches v-ups and planks like three different ways each. Ya it's by far one of Michele's More intense workouts. So simple yet so brutal! I loved it now keep in mind that working out has been a little difficult for me these days so I could only do like thirty minutes of it but it was great! after this fantastic workout I went to the hospital for pre-op. I basically answered a bunch of questions, peed in a cup and got x-rayed. Went to sears to kill some time and bought a great shirt. After that this is the shocker of the day... I got my hair done. I straightened my hair. I am not talking with just a flattening iron I am talking brazilian blowout. Which means three months off straight hair! I hope I get to go to utah before it fizzes out. That was pretty much my day.
Now for channukah. Tonight is the first night of channukah. It is a wonderful exciting holiday that celebrates the miracle of the maccabees. Who are the maccabees? History lesson of the day... The first temple was taking over and pretty much destoyed. For a while it was run by the greeks who brought statues into the temple to force israelites to pray to them. Some israelites hid in the mountains and created a militia named the maccabees. They defeated the greeks by using their knowledge of the land. When they came back everything was destroyed. The menorah was still intact but there was obly enough oil for one day and it takes 8 to produce more oil. They lit the menorah anyways and the miracle is that it lasted 8 days. Noe of course we celebrate the victory of the maccabees and the rebuilding of the temple but we use the miracle of the menorah to symbolize that by lighting a menorah or channukia for eight days. Tonight is the first night! A night of dinner eith my moms israeli friends and their kids which means we get to give them gifts (by the way that is a total americanized thing)! We also get to play dreidel, eat gelt and just enjoy life. This is one of the only holidays we are actually just purely happy. tonight we are having a pretty big dinner. It's not that big in my mothers eyes but sixteen people is plenty for me. That also means that we are having a huge meal including Latkes (fried potatoe pancakes), and sufganiot (stuffed donuts). Don't worry though I am staying clean I prepared today with low-cal meals just incase I start to break so I am prepared. no donuts for me. luckily they are not as good as the real thing so I can resist. I have to go light the candles so..

Till next time

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Epic mickey

Pretty great day today!! I went to gamestop traded in some games for epic mickey collectors edition it is an amazing game! After that I went to a nutritional store that they opened up by cowles mountain it's pretty awesome. The guy who opened up that one was telling me how he lost over 100 pounds and thats why he opened up the place. He's a great guy and that store has just about everything I need so I think I am going to go there more often.
The one negative of the day is the loss of an important piece of paper that I need for tomorrows pre surgery meeting hopefully that pops up somewhere tonight.
Right now I am at vine ripe for the first time since they made it a market place its so different! It's useful though, anytime I need good pita or any middle eastern food I know where to go.
Tomorrow night is channukah so you all have to stay tuned for that blog. It will be a fun one

Till next time
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Monday, November 29, 2010


I went to LA with the mother and it was shockingly kind of fun. We went shopping for jewelry for her spa. I actually found something for myself. I got a chamsa necklace and bracelet and another braclelet that says change your thought change your world I figured after the past several months that this was a perfect bracelet to have.
Now this little bit is kind of a tip for real lifers out there. We went out to lunch at this persian restaurant actually really yummy. I had fish rice and israeli salad (tomatoes, cucumbers, lemon, evoo) now I stayed pretty clean except I had this issue of no matter how full I was I felt like my body was missing something after scarfing down to much israeli salad I drank a bottle of water.and felt ten times better. So before you scarf down to much food remember to drink water it does wonders.
I got to chat with a couple people from utah today which is great! It's almost like being there for a moment in time. Thanks for staying in contact with me.
The day is almost over and I only got thirty minutes of a work out in and to top that off I might be hanging out with bekka tonight so maybe I can add in another fifteen minutes in somewhere.
I am kind of running out od things to all so.. Till next time
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Sunday, November 28, 2010

Missing utah

Today was just painful. Not in a bad day kind of way but physically. I don't think.this surgeon realizes the amount of pain I am in. even walking this morning kind of hurt. At least I got somewhat of a workout in. I had a pretty lazy day other than that.i went to visit bekka at work, I have been working on my puzzle, reading my book, playing some brutal legend which actually is a fun game. I also started cleaning up my room. I got a lot of work to do. Tomorrow I shall finish. Honestly all I have been thinking about today is Utah. I miss it oh so much. I also miss working out. I am not talking about a little walk I have been doing that all week. I miss bootcamp! I miss being pushed beyond my limit and I absolutely miss running. I tryed working out hardcore all week but after ten minutes it just hurts.
On a fantastic note I saw Tangled! It was a great movie of course. Disney never fails it cheered me up big time. I should have seen it in utah with brad and katie but seeing it in sd with my little brother worked out pretty well.
5 more days I can't wait much longer

Till next time
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Friday, November 26, 2010

black friday

Today is the Day after thanksgiving and to most shoppers it is known as black friday. let me tell you a little secret about myself. I really am not a shopper. Last night my mom had a brilliant idea that we should wake up at 3 in the morning and go to macy's. After nearly 25 years of living hear she wanted to wake up for the first time for black friday. I had to come with. not that I said no in the first place I actually said yes. I thought it would be cool to experience it. I was a little wrong. you wait in semi-cold weather which means my mom was freezing the entire time then you are shoved into macy's by a croud of people who are trying to save a buck or two. NOw we chose macy's cause I got to get something nice for a wedding I am going to in a few weeks. which means we really should have just gone straight to the clothes but we didn't do that we went shoes first. My mom has a shoe addiction. so she had to and plus I do need shoes. anywho we found a cute (yes I said cute) pair of shoes for the wedding and some comfy michael cores slippers for a night of movies and hot cocoa. it took like an hour to actually get the shoes because there was like 100 other people trying to find shoes and somehow they had no shoes in my size. at this point I was just tired and bored and frustrated at the fact that that took way to long. We finally made it to the clothes. found some black pants that are nice. SIZE 10 by the way I was stocked about that! we couldn't find a top or really anything for the wedding so it was kind of a failure but I am sure we could find something later on in life. We couldn't end there though. my mom had to go to express to find these shirts that my mom has been eyeing for a while they were 40% off so my mom totally had to get them. there we also found another pair of jeans and a suit jacket for Adam. and finally the cold got to her so much that we had to bail out early.
the rest of the day was pretty chill it was more shopping but for stuff I actually like. I walked to Gamestop and back which is atleast two miles maybe more one way. At gamestop I got a huge deal! three used games and a reserved Epic Mickey for just 37 bucks. I love black friday deals that work to my advantage!
this is where my day gets pretty awesome! we went to Uncle Larry's house with the maman kids to see this amazing little mini disney show he made. it was amazing I do have a video but I do want to edit it because as awesome as my phone is the video still isn't that awesome. the show was spectacular. Larry is a genious and should be working for disney. he is truly the only person who loves disney more than I do. I look up to him all to much for that.
after was lunch with the mamans at Nicolosi's which I forgot how terrible it is. I tried so hard to stay clean and I think I did a pretty decent job but I could feel the oils from every dish around me there was so much! but thats chill it was a fun lunch and luckily I had a small breakfast.
finally the last thing I did today was go grocery shopping with Adam. it was fun we first went to costco where we spent way to much time at because we go through every isle wondering if we need anything and we found some pretty awesome books but I didn't get any cause I still need to finish the Genesis Secret which just gets more intense every chapter. after that we went to von's because I needed to get some pumpkin puree! for those of you who can guess what I would be doing with some pumpkin puree please do cause I am using it tomorrow morning. I am so excited can't wait! I also got a bunch of other healthy things so I can stay on the right path. I still plan on getting to my goal before I go back to Utah. If not that then just continue to lose weight. I have made myself a promise that I won't go back to what I was so healthy food stuffed in the fridge.
For dinner today I made a turkey salad. left over turkey with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, radish, spinach and this new dressing I found at windmill farms apparently there is no calories, no sugar, no fat nothing yet it doesn't taste bad but I don't know if I trust it. now since I don't really have a car so I can't run off to bekka's tonight I shall be going to bed early so goodnight to all.

Till next time

Thursday, November 25, 2010


Today is thanksgiving day. The history of thanksgiving is kind of lame but whats important is what thanksgiving has become. Right now I am sitting with my family after a day with my mom. Keep in mind that today was the most painful day physically. I honestly can barely stand straight but it has been a great day. At dinner right now I am at my grandma's house celebrating my first thanksgiving without my grandpa. It hasn't changed that much just less singing and a little less laughing but we are all still happy. Food wise I think I passed. I cut my calories properly and had turkey a bite of corn, mashed potatoes, sweet potato and pumpkin cake and a few pieces of melon. Just one bite of each. I gave my self a good b+. On thanksgiving day thats awesome. I still kind of wish I was with my real lifers but right now I can't complain about life.
I have told you that I will tell you what I am greatful for. First thing is my family thats obvious, the second is real life because I am now a size 11 (fyi I went shopping today). Mostly I am thankful for some great people I have met this summer. Without them I wouldn't have made the changes I have made. I wouldn't be as happy and open as I am now, I wouldn't be able to run a mile and I wouldn't want to buy a trx band or food scale and now I do (fyi chanukah list with some great running shoes). I still need two more things I am thankful for. I am thankful for being home. I know I planned on being in utah at this time but being home has ended up being good. Happy thanksgiving to all!!!

Till next time
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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Cowles mountain

Slept in till 6:30 today. I know its not that amazing to most but it is to me. After that I was at the spa all day. It wad fun not really productive though. At three I hiked up cowles mountain it was great made it to the top and all. Its no rock living room but it was amazing to do it. Just knowing that I couldnt 6 months ago really makes it that much better.I did feel way to dizzy afterwards but it was worth it. After that I went to banbu it was delicious but I am starting to get sick of eating out. I wanna start cooking but I havent gotten the chance to. All I want is some good pita pizza or that mexican rice bowl from the live the life book its been calling my name
I texted Jen today which made my day. Hearing how great her vacation is puts a smile on my face. I miss mama Jen and everyone in utah. Tomorrow is thanksgiving so I am definitly cant wait to write tomorrows blog on that.

Till next time

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Tuesday, November 23, 2010


First full day back in sd! I went to the dr. got an appointment with this surgeon. Who said its no big deal so I can wait a week. Of course it was probably cause the guy still thinks I'm pregnant. Ya get this. My mom left the room and first thing he asks is are you sure your not pregnant. Well the answer is no absolutely not. For some reason he kept on asking. Little education for everyone... To be able to get pregnant you need to be sexually active with a guy. So I have no chance whatsoever of being pregnant. The guy was an idiot. Finally got the ultrasound results to him and it showed gallstones what a shocker. The guy still had to go on about me being pregnant. It was a little ridiculous not the greatest doctors appointment I have ever had. So now I have at least a week of pain to deal with. I honestly would have prefered staying in utah and feeling in pain there. On a good note I had lunch with dahlia bekka and my mommy. It was really nice! Lets talk about the mother. I dont wsnt to go shopping with you for one big reason I dont like shopping with you. I know I am sounding a little harsh but this is the thing recently you have wanted me to change even more than usual and I know why it is and I told myself I am ready to take this bs from you but I am not I have written this in an earlier blog and I dont think you got the message. I dont like shopping! I hate forever twenty onr and all the crap that you wear so dont try to get me to wear it. So I going to go shopping on my terms and if we do spend time together just stop and think to yourself why would my daughter regret this time we have and how can I stop myself from getting to that point. Honestly I am done being the person who understands and not the person that is understood.
I dont know if you got this or not but being home instead of in utah where I should be is not really working out.
Luckily I have a best friend who is amazing. With her now venting about everything. Tonight we are doing dinner and hookah.
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Monday, November 22, 2010

Going home.

I am at the airport waiting for my flight. I am going home. This morning I was at treehouse feeling sicker than ever waiting for dr. barnett to call or something. Finally jen texted him. He hadn't gotten the results yet so I figured i'd do what I can working out wise. In zumba I was doin pretty good when jen gavr me a little signal to come out so she can tell me whats up. Dr. barnett trxtrd her saying I got gallstones and need surgery. So I went to kimber got a flight at 440 said my goodbyes and now I am waiting for a delayed flight. It is now 505 and I am still waiting. OY!! Whrn I get home I will be with my family my best friend and my all time favorite doggy chili. I am a little pissed off that I am leaving early but it will be good!
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Saturday, November 20, 2010

Still not doing to good

# of the week is 2.2 lbs! Being crippled all week that was a much needed weightloss. It is proof that diet is at least 80% of loosing weight and staying fit. Today sick wise is definitely worse. Funny thing is I woke up feeling fine but after a half hour or so it came back with a vengence. Along with the sharp shooting pain I have been feeling dizzy all day. To top that off I feel like throwing up everytime I eat yet I am always hungry for some odd reason.
It still was a good day. I hung out with kimber at gateway and I got a nice ego boost at buckle. Trying on jeans that are to big is awesome.
I got a lovely phone call from the ICNIC (my mommy) who is awesome but she asked me if I wanted to come home. Honestly thats the one thing about not feeling well that really scares me. I don't want to give up quite yet. I still got somw fight in me and the day I lose the fight is the day I will go home with a little bit of shame. Not that going home early will be to bad. Chanukah with the family would be awesome. I just know that I wouldn't be ok with myself if I left early.
Now I am at a japanese steakhouse trying to stay clean. I think I chose wisely. After dinner I am going to see the new harry potter. I hope its good. After I plan on resting for the rest of the weekend. Got to eat so..
Till next time
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Friday, November 19, 2010

Pain and shopping

So still in pain. I went to get the ultrasound done and now I have to wait for the results. I honestly dont know how long I can last. I am trying to be positive but I really cant take this pain. Its not even the pain thats unbarable its the fact that I cant breath when I workout even if its a light walk on the tread or the fact that everytime I eat I have to force the food to stay down. I am hoping it gets better with a little extra sleep tomorrow morning.
Today has been pretty sucky. But I did get to go to the mall with everyone.
I am trying to find gifts for the family for the holidays. If you have any requests please ask. I am a little lost at tgis point. It was good for me to go. It got a little scary for a split second but a snack and some time in barnes and nobles actually helped.
Fyi kimber cracks me up. It cheered me up being in her office.
I am going to sleep tonight so..
Till next time
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Thursday, November 18, 2010

A little scared.

Let me go back in time just a few weeks. When I came back to utah. When I got back on the tread for the first time. It was fabulous I could do a whole lot more cardio and not feel like death. Go fifteen minutes into the perfect run on the tread and my opinion changes my smile drops for a split second and word pops into my head that I wont put on this blog considering I love my utahns to much to do that. Luckily it was only for a split second. I lowered the speed started walking and this pain went away. Now come to a few weeks later where my water in take is just a bottle a day ( I know its a shocker but it just happened for some reason), the pain comes back. This time around its not going away. Of course I got to tell Jen that its been going on for a while. I still think she is a little upset about me bringing it up a little later than I should have and that I havent been drinking water. So we talked to nurse rachelle ( who by the way I really miss) and we all agreed that it was dehydration. Now come to a week latet and I still got the pain feeling a little oozy and delusional so of course I got to tell Jen. Who had to text dr. barnett. So all day I am feeling out of it and in pain waiting till 330 this afternoon when I went to see him. All I got out of him was I have to go get ultrasound done. I am going tomorrow at 8:00 and yes will tell you all what happens. Now I cant workout much which sucks cause I want to do ab lab right now but instead I am doing nothing. Hopefully tomorrow I get good news and I can workout. If not might have to go back to sd a little early. I hope not. That is the last resort and I am hoping, praying that that is not the case. I am hoping it is just cause I have been working out to much. Anyways that has consumed my day.
So now I go back to what we talked about in group last night and I am thinking of 5 things I am greatful for. 1. Jen of course. I will say it a hundred times she is amazing. No one has helped me more than her the past few weeks.
2. Gamestop! I know I am a nerd but I got adams chanukah/birthday gift over there and it was a good distraction from everything
3. Books. I would be bored to death today if I couldnt read a book while walking on the tread.
4. Being in utah. Being here with the awesome cold weather, the awesome people and the terrible road construction really has been awesome.
5. Is this blog. Writing is theraputic. I may not be the greatest writer grammatically but I love to do it and to top it off I get to share whats going on with you all.
I really do like doing this 5 things I am greatful for. It might actually occur more often.
On to a small workout and thrn sleep.

Till next time
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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Going home gratitude and going back to the old game plan

Todays day was good. Did bootcamp cardio read this awesome book. I also did spin which was fun and intervals with michele which was hard but good. Afterwards I went to costco and gamestop for a much needed outing. I realized a few things today the first is I really am terrified of going home. Why am I scared? Well for one thing I have holidays,a birthday, a wedding, and a trip to vegas which all scream food relapse. I know I can survive it but there is always that fear of failure, another reason is well not something I am going to get into on this lovely public blog of mine. I am trying to think of the positives of going home and thats helping. I get to see bekka and chili pepper, licorice and puma when I get home. I get to celebrate many great things next month and it will be really good for me to be home in january.
Second thing I realized was in group today. We talked about gratitude. I am so thankful for being here and being upset at little things has clouded that. I do get a little overly stubborn about things. Its the one thing about myself that I love but sometimes I got to step away from it a little bit. I will tell you what I am thankful for when thanksgiving comes around that is way to long of a list right now.
The third and final is that I got to set my goals. The only way I know to succeed in life is if I have a purpose to succeed. I put all my goals that I had last time I was here on the backburner which hasnt helped me. Tonight I figured I need some goals but I honestly didnt know what they should be. Then I remembered these goals that I had and working so hard to get to them so I will go back to that.
Those are my three revalations of the day.
Inbetween I got some help from both Jens. I got this awesome quote that really put a smile on my face tonight from treehouse Jen. And well mama Jen is always an inspiration to me. I truly dont what I do without her here. Even her lectures make my day a little better.
So tomorrow is a new day with a new/old plan.

Till next time
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Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I really am trying to be nice.

Today was a mental fight. I got to keep going but well if you read my last blog thats been on mind And to top it off I am really trying to be nice but ever since darren left it is not the same. I am really missing him it was nice having someone here that actually cared.
Today honestly wasnt as bad as e expected it to be. I did a whole lot of cardio my own core workout and I got to hang out woth michele on the eliptical. I also got to check out this health food store that eas kind of cool. Right now I am going yo broadview to see if I can finally register for my classes I will tell you all how it goes via facebook.
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Monday, November 15, 2010


Well today was a half day. I am not talking in a sense of I only worked out for half a day but in the sense of I had half a great day and half a mediocre day. I woke up awake and happy kicked butt in bootcamp, did cardio for hours and did pretty decent in intervals. After that it was just a crash after lunch as I was walking to the locker rooms from upstairs my knees gave out. They both kind of hurt a lot. Luckily the chiropractor helped a little bit but it still hurts a whole lot. I tried to do more cardio tonight and it just didnt work. I got a mental break from the pain in bowling it wad fun. I got a turkey! Not really but brad showed me how to change my score. I would talk about dinner but marky wasnt there to make me someyhing yummy. Its wierd how I rely on people so much. I can only do pt with certain people I can only eat the food if its cooked by specific people or go hiking with a certain person. I have had this issue with everything in my life and I have come to figure out the reasoning to it. There are actually a few reasons. 1. Is cause I really do find it yo be slightly sentimental. 2. Is cause I am not gonna have an experience that is any worse than what I experienced. If I have had better food or a great pt why would I go any lower than that and settle. 3. I hate change especially if it doesnt change for the better!
I understand that change in life is needed and I will accept it and learn to live with it and even love it if its good. When its not good why should I accept it. Why should I except not being able to do pt with my favorite trainer or accept the fact that people are leaving me. Oddly enough I hate when I have to change.
I have been changing this entire time and I am still debating on if I like it. I love the fact that I am working out more and wanting to do more with my life and I lovr that I am more open with people but I hate the fact that all these changes keep me away from what I have loved and still love. I hate that me changing is an expectation of me doing what others expected of me just cause my weight has changed. I hate the fact that the only changes that certain people see in my life are the ones that they wanted to begin with. So let me lay out the ground rules of who I still am... I am Nicole Recht! I am a jewish girl from san diego with the greatest craziest best friend that will never change. I lovr sports and working out that also wont change. I dont like shopping or stupid little fads that people come up with that are just down right stupid. I love disney and video games always and forever. I will always even in time of pain try to keep a smile on my face and when I am mad I will do something stupid like cuss out seth or write this blog. Most importantly I love my family no matter how much we fight or how much I hide from them. To come to a simple reasoning for writing all of this... For the past month I have been told by people in variuos places I my life that I have changed. Some in fact to most it is the changes that I want them to notice. I havent changed who I am just how I live life. Some people dont see that they just see the changes they want to see and aknowledge those changed when ib reality those are the changed I didnt want to happen. Ok its mostly just one person but I dont wanna name names. Fyi I thinl about this all the time if you havent noticed by the ridiculously confusing blog.
I think.i am going to try to stop confusing you so...
Until next time
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Saturday, November 13, 2010

weigh in and Disney on ice.

First thing on a saturday like this is the number of the day which is 2.7 pounds! This is why I love working out here it pays off. As awesome as that is the bummer of the day is that rachelle left. She was awesome. Kicked butt in bootcamp every morning while talking smack the entire time. I don't know who is going to be able to replace someone that hilariously awesome.
I have to give a shout out. Usually I kind of just right people in to the story of the day but I forget some people. Melissa reminded me to get her in my blog today so thats what I am doing. For those of you who don't know who melissa is.. She's a crazy trainer at treehouse who teaches us real lifers kickboxing and survival of the fittest.
When I got to the house I got to cook up a delicious lunch while everyone watched the utes get slammed once again. I am starting to doubt my new found love for them but I will try to keep having some faith in them.
At the moment I am at the mall looking for some new clothes but honestly not in the mood to find anything. After this I am going to go see Disney on Ice. I know you can't see my facial expression right now but I have the biggest grin on my face right now. I so stocked! I am going with brad and hia girlfriend. I finally get to meet the girlfriend everyone else has except for me and now its my turn. I got to go now on account of I got to get to the greatest show ever. I shall tell you all how it goes.

Till next time
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Friday, November 12, 2010

I dont know what to call this one.

Watching cop out at the moment with the real life gang for rachelle's last Night here. I really am gonna miss her. Today was great! Worked out like always reading the second book of diary of a wimpy kid which is good. At the chiropractor today shanna was there. It made being there a whole lot better. Went to the zoo amd it was great. Not as awesome as the first time but still really awesome. Fyi cop out is hilarious. I am still watching it. I can't stop laughing. I would quote it but considering that mt friends here in utah read this blog I will keep it to myself.
Today I learned two things I don't like. 1. Fern is being put to sleep. She was amazing dog. 2. I was reminded of the fact that I missed grandpa dave's unveiling. Heres what you need to know about him. He's not really my grandpa buy he sure acted like he was. The man taught me how to play basketball and always told me how proud he was of me, what more could I ask for. It has already been a year without him.
Luckily cop out is cheering me up. So I got to keep on warching.

Till next time.
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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Goal changing

Today was a pretty chill day. Awesome bootcamp this mornig. Fyi that spot is mine I don't care what rachelle says. Went to spin which workedy butt off (literally) and then did a whole bunch more cardio. At lunch time I totally crashed on jen's workout. Sorry about that! After that went to barnes and noble which is my weekness I could live there. While I was there I really couldn't figure out why I just don't want to work out in the afternoons. I did the usual checklist. I asked myself if its cause I am tired then if I am sore or if something is on my mined and it really wasn't anything on the typical list. As the day went by I realized I was happy with just 5 hours of working out and that I need to start planning more outside of real life especially since I am going to live here and all. So I made a calendar with time to spare for time outside of the gym. Now I just got to figure out where to go in that time. Any good ideas? I do know tomorrow I am spending some of that time in kimber's office. I know it's not to far from the gym but she has been out of town this past week and I want the juicy details of the trip.
One more thing. I have three And a half weeks left with real life. It has gone to fast! I do get to see bekka soon!! Three and a half weeks till I get to hang out with my bestest friend!

Till next time
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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Weirdness I can't explain

Today was weird and sad. To start of I did the usual. Fyi for breakfast I tried the pumpkin spice shake. It was oh so yummy. The usual on a tuesday consist of zumba and I was surprised to see brenna come in. I was oh so happy to see her. Honestly your amazing brenna! After zumba I went to greg's class with Jen and then went for a walk with rachelle to starbucks. No I didn't get anything. It was funny to bumb into Adam and Sean on the way back.
I can try to explain what occurred at lunch but I really don't know how to without sounding crazy. Lets just say I have been feeling a little extra sensitive. I blame shanna and jen even though its their fault. I couldn't really work out after that so I just did a little school stuff until dinner. I also tried to sneak into shanna's office a few times but it kind of failed until after dinner but I was only in there for a few minutes. She kicked me out so I would workout. I did some cardio and kickboxing with melissa. Fyi her treehouse classes are a little harder than the real life classes. Now I am going to bed but before I do I have to tell you all that kimber is going to be back in less than two days!!! She has been gone way to long.

Till next time
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Monday, November 8, 2010

A productive day

Today was fabulously busy. Jen did bootcamp today which is always a great start to the day. Did cardio with a broadview classes catalog then zumba with bobbi. I know it's not brenna but bobbi is just as awesome and plus brenna is kind of having a tough day. I love you brenna hope your doing ok.
Didnt much working out after that. I did do half of intervals but I had to run to broadview to discuss money and classes. Came back for some shanna time which was fun and the chiropractor which was weird he actually cracked me. Not my favorite thing in the world but it oddly enough did help. For those of yoy who don't know this I really hate cracking. A little secret of the day is that I did tear up a little when he got to the neck. I also did a little extra zumba and some extra arms since I'm really not doing pt anymore. Now sleep so...
Till next time
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Sunday, November 7, 2010

I think way to much but this time it may be a good thing.

went to church with Jen today. It was a great experience. Last time I went we only got to do the first hour because of pioneer Day and this time I went through the whole three hours and it was cool. I learned a lot and it reminded me of why I'm here. What that means is this. The first class was about sacrifice. We talked about sacrificing our treasures in life and this one guy said something close to we sacrifice oir treasure for a different treasure. As he was saying this I kept on thinking about the navy and how I gave that up. The past few weeks I have been sort of Confused and angry at myself for getting rid of this awesome dream of mine that I have had for so long. The more the conversation went on it came clear to me. I just had to sacrifice that dream for a new dream. To top that of I had to figure out why. Why would I have a dream to give it all away and it hit me that dream brought me to utah. I have gotten so muxh out of utah and now that I have gotten to here it's time to sacrifice it, move onto a new dream.
Now time to get to the second class. Before I get to what I learned here just know that this only occurred once in my life and I jumped right back up from it. The conversation was about paying attention to g-ds hand and when he helps. The first thing that popped into my head was Israel. Let me tell you all what happened in Israel and why I decided to come back home from that. I went through a whole lot in Israel I couldn't handle it one night I hit my lowest point. It was the typical image of scissors in hand wrist ready to go and as the scissors touched skin a sudden knock at the door. There was g-ds hand! i know it's sounds ridiculous especially coming from me but here me out. I really am not a complete believer in that I believe that g-d left us to have free will and what happens happens. For some reason though this was the first thought in my head. You are probably asking who was really knocking. Three friends of mine we were supposed to go out for a friends birthday and I forgot all about it. We went out bought some chocolate and on the way back there were sticks on the ground shaped like a smiley. Which is why I am obsessed with smileys by the way. After that and a couple weeks of screaming at my mother I decided it be time to go home.
Why am I telling you this now? 2 reasons to the question. First obvious one is those thoughts popping in my head. The second reason is that Cause of all this ridiculous weightloss and me not eating away all my emotions every ounce of feeling is coming back to me which fyi sucks. I think I have it under control now but I never really know here at real life. I do believe I am gwtring back to who I became here the first time. All of this ended with me chilling with jen and her boys for a little bit. It was a great productive day. Even with everything going on in my head.
Tomorrow the week starts again so till next time
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Saturday, November 6, 2010

Weigh in, puzzles and people leaving

got to start with the weight loss of the week. I lost 1.7 pounds today. Thats lower than normal but considering that I have been sleepless and in pain this week I will take it. After a low weightloss I figured I'd do tabata. Tabata was epic. Forty minutes of high energy strength training. I am still feeling it. Got to do that more often. I have to go back to morning to tell you that I have finished the globe puzzle. I realized that it's a flawed puzzle which is probably Why who ever was working on it couldn't really finish it because of that reason. I started another puzzle wich will be fun it's a sea turtle. Going to dinner and a movie tonight which will be nice. Hanging out with everyone I realized that it is not the same without lili she left today and I didn't get to say bye. A little bummed about that. I am going to get ready for a fun night.

Till next time
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Friday, November 5, 2010

People I miss and will miss

Today was good. I woke up just happy but that kind of got ruined by a sharp shooting pain in my back that kept me from breathing. It didn't completely ruiny day I got to do kickboxing in the morning and some of bootcamp. I went to the chiropractor which ended just being more fun than helpful. Shanna showed up and ended up On the roler bed next to me. I've said it before and I will say it again I always have a good laugh with shanna. After that it was just a bunch of goodbyes to some great people. Diane left today which is not cool. She was a hardcore when it came to working out. Lili is leaving tomorrow and she sang a wicked song shes amazing. Her voice is fantasmic! Went to boondocks played the arcade and laser tag which was fun. Mid laser tag I got this picture text from bekka with this picture of chili. I miss th dearly if I could have chilipepper in utah life would be perfect. About to go do some extra working out. Tomorrow is weigh in I need all the help I can get.
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Thursday, November 4, 2010


So I am on my way to an entrance exam for broadview university. I was supposed Be there at 4:00 and it is now 4:50. I feel like an idiot! I am a very forgetful person but when I forget about Things like a test at 4:00 it hits me hard. Luckily this place is awesome. I called straight away and they just told me to come at 5:00. I never had such a good day turn sour so quickly. Today was a great Workout. An hour and a half bootcamp led by Adam which was hardcore, zumba, cardio with a little sherlock holmes, kickboxing, and a little ab workout of my own and a little relaxing in the comfy chair in Shanna's office. I also hung out in the juice tree talking about religion. After that I went to target and around 4:22 I nearly ran out of the store about to steal some post its because I just remembered that I was supposed to be at broadview taking a test. Now I am at broadview waiting for a computer to open up. I am a little nervous. I guess I shall tell you all how it goes after the fact via facebook.

Till next time

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Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Educational blog for everyone...did you know that you JuJ really need 7.5 or 9 hours of sleep. Reasoning to that is REM. There are four stages of sleep. Stage one is that time when just about anything wakes you up and you are usually aware of your surroundings. Stage two and three really not that important for this blog but you can find all this info online. Stage four is probably the most important stage for is your deepest sleep it is where people sleep walk or have night terrors and all that good stuff if you have those issues. It is that sleep where nothing will wake you up. At the end of stage for you have REM sleep. Also known as dreams. Dreaming is very important. It prepares the brain for waking up. Now you go through all these stages in about 90 minutes. Obviously a full night sleep isn't 90 minutes. After stage four your body and mind take a few seconds to readjust. Usually this is when people wake up if they got to go to the bathroom or something.
Why am I giving you all this info on sleep? I have been having this issue of not sleeping. I fall asleep and wake up after a cycle of stages in a sweat due to realistic nightmares that should not be in my head. Now this makes getting back to sleep all to difficult. Which also makes getting 7.5 hours of sleep difficult. So now I have gone weeks without proper sleep and your mind plays tricks on you with a lack of sleep. Not sleeping is almost like a sugar rush. You have almost like a hyper active high for a little bit at times and then an epic crash. Usually that crash is just exhaution, but if you don't sleep long enough your mind adds more little tricks on you. Your emotions change with every high and.every crash. Soon your high becomes delusion and your crash becomes anger and eventually you just end up down right deppressed for no reason other than the fact that you can't sleep which gets you depressed about every little thing in life.
Why have I just told you all of this? This morning I got to treehouse did my thirty minute warm up and crashed on the couch wanting a nap when Jen came over and said hey. All I could think was well something I won't write on this blog because I love Jen to much to put it up. After that the day was good I just was pissed and sad the entire day. I was crying in bootcamp spin I got a second wind so I was delusional survival I was depressed and during the third class I just was done. I did do intervals but I wad pissed so I put my headphones in my ears and ran. After intervals and mushy pasta I just tried to sleep till three but everytime I would get close to stage two I would wake up. Instead of trying for another two hours I went to the grocery store for some education and realized I have done that way to much. It was fun and it was good to do something outside of the gym even though it's just across the steet. Fyi another symptom of sleep deprevation is rambling and I think I am doing that right now so my apologize.

Till next time
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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Mixed day.

The title says it all. It was a mixed day. It was a great morning with an amazing bootcamp a fabulous zumba and a nice walk around draper park. To top the greatness intervals were fantastical. I am starting to run more its awesome. Unfortunately right after the peak there was a drop. I found out that wednesdays pt will no longer be with michele. Lets get things straight michele is an amazing trainer. In my opinion she's the best at treehouse so whoever was moronic enough to think other wise is not ok with me at the moment. Second I gotta figure what to do with pt now because I am picky about who I pt with. Anywho after that I don't know why but I was pretty bummed out the rest of the day. I honestly don't know why its not like I'm not gonna see michele ever again she still works at treehouse and I practically live there. The day did get better when I went to broadview and wrote up my application to go to school there. It reminded me of my goals in life so now I am content and ready for a new day.
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Sunday, October 31, 2010


Ok so before I tell you about my puzzle problem. I have a little OCD problem with puzzles. I love puzzles. I can't live without them and no one touches the puzzles I am working on. Today after waking up early making breakfast and planning on leaving the house my eyes caught an unfinished puzzle. It is a 3D globe. So I figured whats the harm in finishing it. As I put in the pieces I realized it was unfinished because who ever was working on it put all the pieces on wrong so he had some pieces left which means I had to completely restart it. While colpletely tearing down this puzzle my momcalls me up and tells me that my puzzle at home has been messed with. Of course I can't be mad because it was just maya and eitan the cutest little kids ever but it made me wanna work on the puzzle even more so thats what I did until I got a text from lili asking if I wanted to carve some pumpkins. I sat there a few minutes looking at my puzzle having a little panic attack cause I know I have to say yes because I want to but I really also want to finish the puzzle. I ran out the door before I changed my mind. The entire day I have been thinking of this puzzle. Even having lunch With kimber and steff I was thinking about this puzzle which is why I ran back to the house and worked on the puzzle till a little before dinner time. And now I am at dinner writing this blog thinking about this puzzle. I know this sounds a little obssesive. Hence my issue but I can't help it.
There is not much else to say about today it is halloween and I really want bekka here with me but now that I have this puzzle bekka would probably just be annoyed at the fact that I am working on the puzzle to much. Can't wait till tomorrow hopefully working will get my mind off of this ridiculous puzzle.
Hope everyone is having a great halloween.
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Saturday, October 30, 2010

Halloween in Utah.

Today was fabulous. Weighed in, ate my weekly sandwich went to costco and today is the day before halloween. For those of you who haven't been to Utah yet there is something you should know. When a holiday like halloween is on a sunday it is usually celebrated the day before or after. So today in Utah it was halloween. I had a great halloween I bought candy and opened the door to trick-or-treaters who luckily took all the candy. I also went for sushi with some real lifers which made a great dinner and a laugh. To top it off steff and her family came over to watch interview with a vampire. Yes it was the first time I have seen the movie and yes I am a little ashamed of that fact. It was a great movie. I also got to see brenna and her kids. They came trick-or-treating it was awesome. I really do love halloween. Best part is seeing the smiles on the kids after you give them candy. My mission is to make next year even better.
By the way happy halloween to everyone. I hope it is just as great for you as it was for me.
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Friday, October 29, 2010

Halloween at treehouse

So today at treehouse we got to dress up for halloween. So I bought a pirate hat a sword and some fake tattoos. I went in with my basketball shorts a tank and my costume stuff. I loved it and luckily everyone else did to. I love halloween. When else will I be able to work out with a pirate hat. Fyi I am getting so much better at my push ups!
I also went to gardners village which was nice, cute and only lasted a couple hours but it was nice to go out and do something different and plus Sage was with us and she always puts a smile on my face. My prediction is that she's going to be a runner like her parents. She was bookin it to just about everywhere. Her costume by the way is so cute! She's a little kitty for halloween.
I also have to tell you about my buddy Luke. Luke is a two year old boy here in draper who comes to treehouse with his mother. I got to meet him my second week in utah. I was on the couch by the fish tank crying in pain cause of my knees and this little boy ran up to the fish tank. He needed a stool to reach the tank and I so happened to be using it to rest my leg. I had to help him out and give him the stool. He had a huge smile on his face which was contagious. After that I got a massage and was good to go. Most people in pain feel better cause of the massage but I felt great because this little boy smile was on my mind. This week I have been bummed out because I was in pain. Today I got to see luke. He didnt exactly have a smile on his face but he was still cuter than ever (especially since he had his costume on). After that I was working out like there was no pain. I even jogged a little bit. I think thats my lesson of the day. You need something or someone thats gets you motivated for the day. Even if it's just a simple smile from a little boy excited to see the fish.

Till next time
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Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Driving in the snow

This morning I woke up early wanting to go to the gym early. As I opened the garage door I saw snow everywhere. It was Snowing! Yes I am still excited about the snow. After two seconds I realized I had to drive in the snow. I was a little scared but I did a pretty great job. I really do love the snow here I am sure that will all change sooner or later but for now I totally feel like I am in a disney movie.
Today was still tough. Knee is not getting any better. In fact I Think its gotten worse :(. I had to walk out of jen's spin. I haven't done that since my first week here. And to top that off I didn't go to second pt. I gotta figure out how to fix this. Not working out is killing me.
I decided to go Laser tagging after having a tough day at the gym and it was so worth it. It reminded me of how awesome it is to have fun in utah. I am slowly getting back to being me here.
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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

My knee!!!

 Today was dedicated to the physical and emotional pain that was brought by my lovely knee. to be exact the pain is coming from my IT band in my left knee. before I continue on about today let me give you a little brief on what the IT Band is. The IT band is a  band of fibers that runs on the outside of the thigh. it goes from the hips to the knee basically. Now if you overuse or down right just work out wrong your IT band can be inflamed. By the way I totally just looked this stuff up. Anyways, I myself have pretty weak IT bands that get irritated by the slightest movement. because of this my knee hurts on a regular basis.  I am actually used to feeling the pain all the time but somedays are worse than others and this day was definitely one of those days. I tried doing bootcamp first thing this morning which was a huge mistake. Bootcamp set the entire day. Adam made me leave early because I was in way to much pain. after icing I spent the day doing semi decent. I went to zumba and greg's super circuit but I just couldn't give 100% which bummed me out. Of course for some reason I had to go to raising the bar after that. I went for Jen and Kimber cause they went and well who wouldn't want to see the two of them in raising the bar. anywho little did I know that it wasn't the smartest choice. I had to stop once again before it ended because I was in way to much pain. this time I believe there were even a couple tears involved. after that I was pretty much just dead. I couldn't really do anything up until 2nd pt. which I had to go to because today lisa was doing pt and she is amazing at what she does. she got me to do the hardest ab workout I have ever done without killing my knee to much. that unfortunately was my last workout of the day. I really couldn't do much after. What did I do instead? I hung out with Kimber. Now after a pretty bummed out day because of this beautiful knee of mine hanging out with Kimber was just what I needed. a good laugh oh and of course pictures which I think I am going to try to make that one of me my profile picture for my blog still thinking about it. that was pretty much my day except for one awesome thing that occurred today. A total disney film moment when all of a sudden it started to SNOW!!! while limping around I saw snow and got so excited that I did my funny limp run outside. it was spectacular. I even have a video it's kind of lame but I am a little ridiculous like that. I am trying to post the video but for some reason it is an epic fail. I have to get used this blog thing and maybe tomorrow I will post it.
Back to raising the bar for a moment and that picture up top. today while in pain a huge grin was on my face. I heard Down by Jay Sean. I did a funny little dorky hand move that hopefully no one saw. It's something me and Bekka do all the time. for those of you who don't know  that song always puts a smile on my face. now for the picture: Bekka has Two amazing dogs and an amazing cat (chili, licorice and puma) the picture is chili. I miss all three of them  and Bekka. I have been trying to sneak down to SD for this halloween weekend because what is halloween without friends? it isn't fun thats for sure. Of course to get me to try harder Bekka sent me this awesome picture the other day. wouldn't you want to snuggle up with a little puppy like that? So now all I can think of is the fact that I will not be snuggling with chili or do the little dorky hand thing with Bekka.
 I do have to finish this post on a good note because somehow I still feel good about life so the lesson of the day is;  Snow is awesome and so is everyone in Utah which I kind of already knew. To add to the lesson that I already know: life even with everything going wrong is always amazing. I am in Utah with friends and I am experiencing life like never before. so with everything in my life that seems to be going bad there is more going right.

Till next time

Monday, October 25, 2010

Hitting a wall.

Today was a monday for sure. Its funny cause coming back I am going through the whole pattern of being at real life for the first time. This is the third week which means I have hit my wall. Trying to figure out how to get passed it but today was hard. There were fun times that helped out. I did bootcamp first for the first time, which was fun and so were intervals fyi I got to 9.0 today! And kimber took the most ridiculous pictures of me to be honest they are way to.embarassing to put up but I have to put one up so I shall attempt to do that. Shanna time helped it always does somehow no matter what we are talking about I always end up laughing. With all that when it came to working out on my own I couldn't do it. It was probably because i am a little bummed that I really cant figure out how my plans for halloween will work I really want it to for some reason but I think I gotta give up and try to find a party in utah. One last thing it totally snowed last night!! I got to wake up to snow on the grass which means my first legit winter has begun. I do have the picture to prove it.
Ok so the lesson of the day for me which I already know it just has become more apparant lately. I need a love life. I have know idea how or when that will occur but hopefully I will figure it out.

Till next time
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Sunday, October 24, 2010

my 1st blog

After months of writing my status on facebook and being unable to tell you all just about everything I did in I day I decided that things had to change.  I decided that a blog would be semi-appropriate for a full tell all of what is occurring in my life. I can't guarantee that I will do this on a daily basis because, well let's be honest I don't have the most exciting life out there but I can promise you that I will warn you all via facebook when I do right a blog.
I guess I should introduce myself before getting to the boring stuff. My name is nicole. I grew up in San Diego I am in Utah now trying to figure out what I am doing in my life and I think it's going pretty well. I am a video gaming nerd and I am obsessed with all things disney. I have found a new love for working out here in Utah and a love for writing grammatically poor essays about my dull life.
   I should tell you about my day. It actually wasn't that amazing today. I bought winter clothes which is amazing on my part cause honestly a girl from San Diego buying clothes for snow isn't normal. I also cooked up a yummy lunch it was just pasta with the left overs from last nights chili. I did work out a little today but I probably shouldn't have because this week is leg week.  I have also been trying to figure out what to do for halloween. I have an amazing plan but it seems like it might fail. if you all have any ideas I wouldn't mind some help.
   I am trying to add something I learn each time I do a blog today the one thing I learned is that it gets extremely windy in Utah. I don't really know it thats significant but it's what I learned today.
  since today hasn't exactly ended yet I don't really know how to end this blog but I guess I can end it by saying that there will be more entertaining blogs coming and that I hope you enjoy atleast a few of them.

Till next time